Lessons

It's been a while, like a couple weeks at least, since I last prayed the rosary.  Well, that was before tonight.  But tonight, I prayed it and it took a lot longer than it usually does.  No, it's not because in two weeks I forgot the prayers and got out of my usual rhythm.  In fact, I think it is because I remembered the prayers.  My lips just moved slower tonight.  I became completely enveloped in the presence of God.  I prayed a mystery that I don't usually pray.  Actually, I'm pretty sure this was only my third time praying it!  But, it went further than the mystery.  I like this set of mysteries - the Luminous - because they are on Jesus' teachings and specific parts of His life.  So, I really got to the point of meditation on the mystery to where I didn't pay attention to the prayers at all really.  I just focused on the mystery and how it relates to my life.  Such as the one about the Wedding in Cana...I was meditating on the story and Christian marriage, and then I begin to think about my own love life and its non-existence.  But I begin to look at it in a different way to see that, yes, Christian marriage is important, but so is the fact that Jesus socialized.  He didn't close Himself off from the world.  He immersed Himself in the culture without sinning.  Or the mystery of the Proclamation of the Kingdom of God and all of the teachings that Jesus said one must do to get into the Kingdom.  And so I worked through those.  

I've been trying to do the math for how long a "Hail Mary" took tonight, but I really don't care all that much.  I'm just glad that I'm at peace and relaxed right now.  It is helping my headache that began to turn into a migraine and it is helping my body to release all the tension that it has held for most of the day.  I'm just glad that I picked up my rosary tonight.  

One of the things that has really been nagging at me lately is my lack of time set aside for prayer.  I made the commitment for Lent to give God 30 minutes of my time to be devoted to studying Scripture, which was part of my Christian life that seemed to have dropped out.  In the meantime, I'm realizing how lacking my prayer life is.  It's been kind of stale.  A lot of my voice, and not a lot of His.  I've done a lot of yelling lately, and not a lot of listening to His rebuttal.  I guess that's what happens when you build up anger towards God.  But it's a hard fall when you have to humble yourself before the King.  Anyhow, I guess what I'm saying is that I want my prayer life to be more than what it is right now.  And to do that, I guess I need to set aside time, not only to talk/yell, but also to listen.  Somehow, I feel like that time is going to be early, VERY early in the mornings.  Mark 1:35 is really kickin' me in the butt right now!!!  Haha.  So, who knows what will be in my future!  We'll just see where God takes me.  It's a start.  Learning to trust and being willing to sacrifice something I hold dear to my being (sleep) in order to take lessons in trust is something significant in my life.  So, that's all I have for you!