In Control

Today hasn't been what I call fun.  I woke up, and I could hardly move this morning.  Texting my best friend was nearly impossible.  It felt like my fingers were long strips of tough rubber that couldn't bend, not to mention the pain I felt in my knuckles.  The medicines seem to work, however, they do wear off as time goes on.  So, I've become completely dependent on them...apparently.  I just hope they keep working.  As I sit here typing, though I have taken my meds today, I feel the storms being prepared for tonight.  It's severe storm weather that is coming.  It is severe storm weather my body is preparing for.  Lol.  You know how people always say that animals can sense things like the weather changes or when something is wrong...I feel like an animal some days.  Lol.  I can sense those things too.  But, I gotta admit, I'd rather leave those things to the animals than experience it myself.  It's painful. 

So today has been kind of boring.  I've watched some Roswell.  I talked to my Aunt D for a few minutes before she had to leave because she wants to miss the storms going home.  I did three questions on a piece of homework.  Other than that, I haven't done much.  OH...I did the dishes too.  I suppose that made me productive, though not as productive as I needed to have been. 

The sky is darkening. The sun hasn't shone its face today.  It has hidden itself behind the cloud cover for most of the day.  Now, it is sinking as the earth rotates.  The wind is blowing the trees like crazy.  They are nearly parallel to the ground when the wind blows.  With every blow, I cringe.  I feel my hands becoming stiffer even now.  But, this is what it seems to be like whether the weather is going crazy or it is a "normal" day. 

I suppose you are wondering what the plan is for tonight.  I am going to watch more Roswell, if my internet will come back online long enough to watch it.  I am going to lay in bed.  I'm going to try not to take too much Tylenol because I know it won't work to ease the pain.  HERE'S the fun part:  I'm going to do laundry.  AND I'm going to pack.  BECAUSE I get to do something incredibly exciting in less than 24 hours!!!  I GET TO GO HOME!!!

I have no idea how my body will handle the four hour drive home, but it will have to deal with the pain.  Why?  Because I said so.  I may be dependent on my medicines, but that doesn't make me a crazy drug addict.  I'm still in control of this body.  I'm still in control of what I do.  I give in to my body sometimes.  I let it control my day...And sometimes, it seems like I have no choice.  But I hold the reigns.  I am in control.

Why?  Because I said so.