I know I have been an absolutely horrible blogger as of late. And I know I probably say that every time. BUT SERIOUSLY!!! I mean it. So, needless to say, I have a lot to mention....
I'm going to talk about the boring stuff first, so just bear with me and then I'll talk about my exciting news!!! I've been diagnosed with Lupus (SLE). I didn't think it would hurt me as badly as it did, but I was really struck down by it. I may still be a bit annoyed with the whole thing, but what can I do about it. At least I have answers when some people don't even have those! Also, I've been put on umpteen million meds for it, so I guess we will see how those take effect. I think I"m in a huge flare considering I can't do anything to get myself comfortable. I feel like I have the flu, only not really. It feels worse. And it feels worse every day. I try to remember, people's worst day of being sick with the flu is my good day. There are worse days, but never better days. So, my normal day becomes a good day. That probably made no sense whatsoever, but there. I couldn't sleep last night. I kept waking up in pain and tossing and turning to get uncomfortable (because I was never comfortable). I won't even go through everything that hurts because I'd never get to the good stuff!!! SO.....I'm worried about keeping my job, since my body is always sick to work......Anyhow......
A much better topic....Things with Nichole (my fiance) and I have been extremely good. She has moved in with me and the adjustment has gone quite well. The families are beginning to adjust, but it seems like no talk is better than any talk. My relationship with my mom is improving, which is awesome. Other than that, things with the family are pretty good. Charlie Triton (the Dragonscale Beta Fish) is doing quite awesome, though he might be on fishy-crack. And Ashes Cadberry and Emily are doing quite well (the bunnies). They made the move quick and easy. ALTHOUGH......All of the animals' homes need to be cleaned, which means the mommies better get to work!!! ;)
SPEAKING OF WORK....I think I have finally figured out what I want to aim for in my professional life. I want to be a school nurse. Now, for those of you who have followed me from the beginning when I was in music education....then communication....then ministry process....then creative writing......then english education........YES...I know. The average college student changes their major 5 times. I (technically) have only changed in twice and now a third time. BUT...I highly doubt I'll be changing it again. Why?
I love kids.
I love helping people.
I love educating people.
Ever since I was little, I considered myself a teacher. So, growing up....I was always the teacher, but the side of me that was always kept secret was the "mom" side of me. I'm the one who wants to take care of you when you're sick and clean up your vomit so it doesn't cause more to spew out of your mouth. (Yes, I had to make that a vivid description.) I'm the one who can look into your eyes to know how you truly feel. But more than that, I love to talk to people about health issues, be it anything. I also have this skill of being able to communicate something to someone even if I may not be completely passionate about the topic...I am passionate about education though. And I want that child who just wants their mommy for their sick tummy or that child who deals with pain every day to be able to come to me for help. And I want to talk to classes about sexuality (yes, a major thing in schools right now) and their own health. Perhaps I'm crazy.
I've pushed the sciences away for so long because I thought I was more into the side of things that were humane and nurturing...little did I realize I was pushing away the very thing that I should be doing. A long time ago, I was told that I just wanted to help people....and however I did that and whenever I did that was up to me, but that was what was going to make me happy....helping people. I want to help people in this way. And I know that it's going to take me a while to get to the point where I can be in a school setting.......but I will enjoy the journey knowing what will lie ahead. I am good at the sciences anyway. They come easily to me. I can only hope that I can make my way through nursing school. LOL!!!
While this is quite the shift from the creative humanities, I truly think I will enjoy it. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.....someone famous said that. I think. I know I'm not going to be happy if I keep doing what I'm doing....so something has to change.
It is certainly a change, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to miss things from the creative arts....I don't think I'll be able to keep up in nursing school while doing 3 music groups. Honestly, I love playing, but I'm going to have to keep it as a hobby, rather than doing it at the professional level. And I don't think I'll be writing many short stories, but I'll keep my blogs going for peace of mind. Regardless, I'll have Nichole....and that's all that matters to me right now.
Only the one who feels the breeze is the one who sees the shift in the wind........
