Reminder

This is a reminder to all who might pick up this blog for some "light" reading that I write for me.  This blog is much like my journal.  I don't always write about happy things.  I don't keep on my mask when I write here.  When I write here, you get me.  You get the me that I am under the smile you see out and about.  You get the me that God is walking with.  This isn't always the me that you imagined.  If I kept the mask down all the time, you wouldn't want to be around me.  You would want to run the other way.  You wouldn't want to listen to "pain pain" all the time.  You wouldn't want to bear the weight that I carry all the time.  Sure, you might want to know how I'm doing.  And you might want to sincerely know.  And, I might actually tell you.  BUT...You can't say that you want to take on the weight of my life along with yours.  So, I rest my burden on God.  I tell Him what I'm feeling.  I tell Him what I'm going through.  And a lot of times, this blog gets those thoughts.  But, I know you would run away if I told you everything.  I know that you would hate to be around me because I would bring you down with me.  I only feel safe doing this with one human being on earth and the One True God!  SO, yes.  This blog isn't always happy.  This blog isn't always about the peace I've obtained through God about my life's circumstances.  But, this blog portrays the real me that many of you can't carry in person.  But, I have to write.  Because when I write, it is one more way that I get the weight of life off of me and onto this computer screen.  No one has to read it.  But, it's there for those who want the reminder that life isn't perfect.  People don't show everything they are feeling or going through for fear of judgment or whatever.  People are people.  And I'm dearly sorry if my writing does not portray that hope that God gives to my life.  HE is the reason I can make it through a day like today that hasn't started well and probably will end worse than it already is. 

Remember...I write for me...and God promises hope...not happiness.  And especially not happiness in the way Americans view it.  So, let me write for me and write what I want!!!

Alive and ???

As I near the end of my stinkin' long day, I have so much to say and so little time to do so.  I hurt pretty badly tonight, so I don't know how much I will type or if I will even remember everything I want to talk about.  Here's the brief form:  auditions, bunnies, birthdays, Easter, FB fun, sista, life plans. 

Auditions
I'm nervous for them.  I know that I shouldn't be.  But I am.  More than that, I'm nervous about finding my way around campus tomorrow!  I don't want to be "that kid."  So, it doesn't help that I also didn't print the campus map before I left home.  Hopefully I don't get turned around and that the campus becomes home VERY soon.  I am looking forward to it though!  I'm looking forward to being on the campus on a school day, meeting the music department staff and the financial aid counselor.  So yeah!  Wahoo.  I love it when things start getting set in stone!  :)

Life Plans
Yes, I know.  I'm going out of order.  I don't care.  As for life plans, I think I am going to keep up with my creative writing english major.  I am hoping to take some technical writing classes and do editing and publishing as a career.  Not crossing off the other options, just not pursuing them at the moment.

Birthdays
My bro's sixth birthday is tomorrow!  It is SOOO exciting for him.  He was super excited tonight when I saw him.  He looks so grown up too!  I can't believe he is already turning six!  CRAZY?!
Also, I've been thinking about various organizations/charities to donate money towards, so if you have any ideas, post 'em in the comments section!  :)  Thus far, I've been thinking about my child I'm sponsoring from World Vision and donating to her community.  Or the endometriosis association.  Or UMCOR for relief in Japan and/or Haiti.  SO...Let me know your pick and/or suggestion!  :)  Oh, and this would be a donation in place of a gift to me for my bday in June! 

Easter
Easter is almost here, and that means that family drama has picked up.  Hoping it calms down soon.  I'm worried about my Grandma too.  She just seems to be pretty......ummmm......stressed.  So, that makes me crazy.  But, Easter is another holiday with traditions in place, so it's going to be weird when we stray from them and when it doesn't seem to go as tradition says we should.  SO...We'll see.  ;)

FB Fun
And with Easter here, I'm approximately a few days until FB returns.  I'm not giving it up for good.  I've prayed about it, and there's just too much on there that I can use for God's glory as well as a great communication device for college students.  So, yeah.  It's stayin'.  However, I will have to watch myself to make sure I don't become completely dependent on it and that it doesn't steal away time from God.  ALSO - I already know what my FB status is going to be as I get back on it.  Lol.  How crazy is that?!  I'm looking forward to it.  ;)  

Sista
So, tonight, I got this amazing lil' crocheted bunny from my awesome older sista!  And that refers to the magnificent Nichole!  :) She isn't my sister by blood, but our friendship has definitely become more like family than just besties.  Can you believe that she just leaves my orange juice cup sitting on the table until I take care of it?  EVEN if it is like a week later?!  Yeah, we're family.  ;)  Now, if only I could get her to come over to my place enough to have her do that...lol.  Yeah, finances suck and make that nearly impossible right now.  But that's okay.  Soon enough we will be incredibly close!!!  YAY! 

BUNNIES!!!!!
The magnificent sister of mine has bunnies.  They are adorable.  ANYHOW, so I'm bunny-sitting while they are away on a cruise.  And I've been pretty nervous about this whole thing for a while now, right!  It doesn't help when she threatens our friendship based on the survival of these bunnies...and of course, she's said this for MUCH longer than just asking me to bunny-sit.  Ha.  SO, now that I'm bunny-sitting, I have been wondering if I can really handle such precious creatures.  But tonight, as we were chasing the bunnies out from underneath her bed, I got to hold the stubborn one!  :) Her name is Emily, and she is the most stubborn bunny EVER!  I've been scared of her since like...Day one.  (My poor sista who is finding all of this out...haha.  I have been, you should have figured this out by now.)  ANYHOW...I'm not so scared.  I know that she will get to know me and that it will be okay.  And I'm learning more and more how to handle them, which is comforting.  I feel like the worst is over with.  I have been able to hold Emily with her relatively calm as she can be!  SO, I am at peace with the whole thing.  The task doesn't seem so big and scary anymore.  YAY!  :D  I love bunnies!!! 

ALRIGHT...So I think that's all I have for you tonight.  I'm in pretty intense pain from writing that, so I'm going to attempt this thing you people call sleep.  Not sure how it will go, but hopefully it will go well.  :)  For now, I am alive and....BUNNIES!!!!  :)
 

Going Out on a Limb

I did something completely out of my nature tonight.  Most of the time, I sit and I think these things through.  Usually I wait and pray for some sort of guidance.  I don't usually do things spontaneously.  I don't go out on a limb.  Especially when it comes to a thin limb.

Believe it or not, I've been thinking about doing something like this for a long time.  I see other people manage it.  I see them sending in checks.  I see them receiving letters and pictures.  I see them sending little gifts with letters tucked inside.  I've wanted to for a long time.  But apparently, the time was right tonight.  I hadn't really prayed about it.  But I knew I should.  

Her name is Grace.  She is 3 years-old and she is from Kenya.  She was born in June.  She loves to color and play baseball.  

I couldn't stop myself.  I'm going out on a limb.  I was only looking into sponsorship, with no intentions of doing so tonight.  But my heart sank as I looked at her picture.  I know that I can make her life 100% better by doing this.  And I don't care that I run on money given to me by my parents.  It shouldn't be that way for long.  So, for now, they can deal with it and I'll support her as soon as I can.  I just couldn't wait.  

I did something spontaneous and made someone else's life better.  I feel good.  Rachel was right the day she told me that I should do something spontaneous every day.  It does change things up...which makes life that much more exciting.  

So, sure.  I am going out on a limb.  Especially since I will probably be lectured by my parent(s) when they find out about this.  But, I don't care.  For once I feel like I'm making a difference of some sort out of my bedroom and my own little world.  I'm making a difference in Grace's life and the life of her community in Kenya.  Who knew going out on a limb could feel so good?!