Gotta Reason for Livin'

Growing up, I remember singing this song in Sunday school.  Back then, I think I just liked it because of the tune and the crazy beat behind it.  Perhaps someday I will actually record it for you.  But I wanted to share the words with you because they stand out today.  It's like I have my life back.  It's like I finally can live again.  It reminds me how circular this faith is.  We screw up, we ask for forgiveness, God forgives us, life is great, we screw up again, repeat.  Ya know, that isn't the way I want to live my life.  Sometime, this cycle has got to break. But more than that, there is purpose behind living.  There is purpose in pushing past all this ridiculous pain whether it is physical or emotional pain.  There is purpose in this life.  So, anyhow, I won't talk about the song, rather I will let you read and soak in the lyrics.  And just imagine a 7-year old girl, with brown hair and a big 'ol pink headband, wearin' a cute lil' dress, swingin' her hips back and forth singin' it with some sort of jazzy spin!  

Gotta Reason for Livin'

Gotta reason for livin' again (woah-o)!
Gotta reason for laughin' again (woah-o)!
Gotta reason for lovin' again,
I've got the love of God in my heart.

Monday, I was all alone,
Tuesday, I had some sin to atone,
Wednesday, I cried and cried,
Thursday, Lord I thought I did die.
Friday, I started to pray.
Saturday, I read my Bible today.
Sunday, Lord the heavens did part,
I've got the love of God in my heart.  

Gotta reason for livin' again (woah-o)!
Gotta reason for laughin' again (woah-o)!
Gotta reason for lovin' again,
I've got the love of God in my heart.

Ya know, I said that I wasn't going to say anything more about the song, but I realized as I was typing that it hits home with me as I think about last September.  I don't know if I wrote anything on my blog about this...but I think my parents both know now, and if not, well I guess you both can know.  But I honestly was considering suicide.  I think about my mom's question when I checked the little box for yes at the drs office last week..."Now, WHY IN THE WORLD would my daughter ever consider doing something like that?!"  And while she doesn't understand the place I was at back then, I do...and I can remember it like it was yesterday.  And as I think, I remember the pain I was experiencing.  And I think about how alone I felt.  It was like experiencing a Monday over and over again.  I think about my only want that day was to know that someone loved me.  And God pulled through and showed me that just one person, and I know there are more out there, but one person was able to say that she loved me and save me from doing something that I probably would have regretted (because I probably would have failed at my attempt).  And so, I think back to that day when I think about that song.  I do have a reason for livin'.  I have a reason to laugh, even when times are rough.  I have a reason to love, because someone loved me and that saved my life.  I have a reason to live because God loved me first and died for me.  And by dying a horrible unjust death, he saved my life eternally!!!  If that isn't a reason to live, then I don't know what is.  How can I take a life that I don't deserve at all, but that has been saved by someone and that Someone was GOD!  Talk about amazing.  Anyhow, I just wanted to share that with you.  Happy Thursday!  LOL!