Surgery, Scarves, & Somewhat Similar Stuff

I thought I would catch-up my blog on what's been happening and what will be happening. Hopefully I won't bore you! :)
Since we last spoke, I have made it through Day 100...so today is Day 104 of head covering. What the most exciting part of it all was that I got NEW covers which arrived (*I planned it that way*) on Day 100! Honestly, I have fallen IN LOVE with them! I really like wearing pashmina scarves, but I wanted something similar...but different. I love my new covers enough to wear them often, though they are more different than first intended. The one covering that I haven't become adjusted to enough to wear out of my room is my amira (see picture). I like it on me, but I am not sure I am ready to wear it out in the "real world." I think part of it is that I look, yet again, "very Muslim" in an amira. Some people truly see this as a bad thing. However, there is sooo much more than that involved in wearing any sort of a covering on one's head. My best friend told me last night that I look good with my head covered. It took me a while to accept that someone might actually like my covering. I've gotten so much "crap" about it (especially in the beginning) that it was something I had to commit myself to do, or else I would fail miserably. So hearing someone honestly say that they like it is DEFINITELY a plus! Head covering, for me, is very different from what most people would assume. It has a part to play in modesty, but that is one of the LAST things on my list. I have never felt the need to cover more than my hair. Some women find it necessary to cover her neck or even their entire body shape. I don't. It's more to me than modesty. It's more to me than a rule. Technically speaking, I don't HAVE to cover my head. My religion does not require it. I will not be beaten if I leave my home with my head uncovered. Head covering isn't a rule for me. Nor do I hold other people to this imaginary rule. Head covering has become more than a witness tool. Head covering has a HUGE part in my life because of the role it does play. I am able to hear from God more clearly. I am able to relate to other women who cover their heads no matter what religion they claim. I am able to recognize sin in a way that isn't judgmental of anyone other than myself. And most of all, I am able to humble myself. It isn't that my hair is my pride. But the action of doing something different than MOST Americans is truly humbling. I have guys that open doors for me when I have NO CLUE who they might be. Are they the kind of guys who open doors for everyone? Probably not. I am able to be respected in a way that most people aren't. However, the experience is more than being treated better. It's realizing that God will provide in miscellaneous ways that remind me that I am one, small human being (literally!), yet that I can be used when I humble myself before Him in obedience.
I have found that living for Jesus is not always easy. Sometimes, He asks you to do things that you really would rather not do. This is about the 4th thing He's asked me to do that I have tried my hardest not to do. I have failed miserably each time. And life is not the greatest until I do so. Anyhow...enough with that. BUT...One more question and I'll move on to everything else I'd like to talk about...As I was walking on campus today, I realized something that is more of a confession than anything. I sometimes feel ashamed. Not because of what God has done...and I am by no means ashamed of God. But, I am ashamed of Christianity as a religion and as a people. I don't know which I prefer to be recognized as...a Christian or a Muslim...both can be horrible people or absolutely amazing and strong in their beliefs. That is one thing that I have learned about the Islam population on campus: They are INCREDIBLY strong. They have to know what they believe in, and be willing to be ridiculed when it doesn't agree with what someone else believes. It makes me sick to think that we waste so many opportunities every day because we don't want to offend anyone or make them feel uncomfortable. People will be burning in hell because we don't upset the norm. Public Service Announcement: THE NORM IS NOT GOD'S WAY!!! It never has been and will never be until we get off our rear-ends and be the people God has called us to be...The people He CREATED us to be!
Alright...well, now that I've stepped off my soap-box...My best friend is having surgery on Wednesday, November 24th. I would sincerely appreciate it if you would say a prayer for Nichole. This will be my first actual hospital experience. Yes, I've been to hospitals and briefly visited people. But, I've not been the one in the waiting room waiting for a loved one to get out of surgery (Yes, I love her...she's my best friend and knows me inside and out!). I've never been there for anyone when the anesthesia wears off. I've never done any of it. I'm definitely new to it. And to a point, I'm scared that I will screw up. She says that she isn't scared for the surgery, so that's good...BUT that means I'm more scared than she is, even with the small amount of nerves that I have built over the past couple of weeks. On a good note: I'm getting together my Surgery Day Fun Box...and this process is fun in itself! :)
I think that's all I have for you for now...Let me know what you're thoughts are...comment!!! And please remember to say a prayer for Nichole...and you don't have to wait for the 24th to start...she would appreciate them now too as the pain is ridiculous from the diseases she suffers from. Anyhow...Thanks for reading! Shabbat Shalom! Happy Friday!!!

Day 46: UPDATE!

Hi Everyone!

So, I just wanted to give an update about everything that's going on in my life right now. This will probably end up being a ramble about head covering and divorce. Haha...

SO...It's been more than 45 days of head covering! I counted that this is day 46 of head covering. I still can't believe that it's been that long. THOUGH, some days, it seems like I've been covering all my life. I wonder how many times I will get asked the same questions over and over again! Why do you cover? But you're a Christian! Do you take everything in the Bible literally? Why would you cover such beautiful hair? Etc. Can't people be more creative in constructing their questions?! Granted, I did get one question a few weeks ago that I was really impressed by! It was regarding the pastoral ministry and covering my head. If I remember, I'll post it following this one!

Other than the bad questions, I have been feeling a nudge from God to try wearing my scarf "hijab" style, which seems to be accepted as the "Muslim look." I am still not sure on this one. I think the style is EXTREMELY comfortable. It doesn't push back my ears quite as tight as the bun style. I wrapped my head as such earlier today (and I have it as such again), but I couldn't bring myself to going out with it on. I don't think it really matters how I cover my head, as much as that I DO cover my head (in accordance with what God's will is for my life). I also think that I am afraid of rejection. I want people to like me. So, it's getting harder and harder to branch out and be different because the differences seem to be creating a separation between me and the world. God did say that we are to be "in" the world, but not "of" the world, so it really shouldn't be a problem. BUT, there is still that idea that people will not support me if I begin "to look like a Muslim." EVEN WORSE...I'm most afraid to wear it like a hijab around "church people." Sometime, I'll explain it...But long story short is that outsiders (non-Christians) are more OPEN-MINDED than some Christians are. Sad story, right?! Gotta love one denomination's view of their church...Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors. LOVE IT! :)

Anyhow, other than head covering...My parents divorce is either finalized or dismissed on Thursday (not tomorrow...Sept 30). SO, prayers that it all goes well and it is finalized with a "fair" settlement. Hopefully, my sibs and I will all adjust quickly and smoothly!

Another prayer request for my cousin Melissa who had surgery today and is having a few complications with the recovery process (high blood pressure). Surgery went well though, so a praise there!

Alright...I think that's enough for now! Oh, and here's a shout out to my Besties Julie and Nichole! You ladies are awesome and you truly keep me going when things get rough. Thanks for always being there for me! AND...For loving me MORE!

I'm out! Thanks for reading!