Do You Understand?

I wrote this mainly out of frustration, however I'm posting it in order to create a sense of understanding.  I suppose you could even call it an informative piece of literature.  FYI Best friend alert:  You do understand, so you may not want to read this on a bad bad day. 

Do You Understand?

Do you understand what it is like to be trapped?  To be trapped in a body that causes you pain day after day?  Do you understand what it means to have to spend your glorious Spring afternoon in bed, rather than playing Frisbee like any other "normal" college student?  Do you understand what it is like to give up simple past-times because you can't handle the pain?  Do you understand what it is like to take the elevator when the second floor is merely 22 steps away?  Do you understand what it is like to give up going to groups that you love and where intensely involved in merely because you don't have the energy?  Do you understand what it is like to leave an event early because your body can't take anymore?  Do you understand what it is like to have friends desert you because they can't figure out why you stopped "hangin' out?"  Do you understand what it is like to have to explain to your professor why you can't write anymore on the test or why your handwriting has gotten so sloppy?  Do you understand how humiliating it is to wear a huge coat on a Spring day because your body is in so much pain that it is tensing up with a bit of a breeze?  Do you understand what it is like to fail at opening a jar or to be able to lift a gallon of milk?  Do you understand what it is like to struggle to make dinner because you can hardly stand?  Do you understand what it is like to feel like no one around you cares?  Do you understand what it is like to have your family clueless about your condition or unable to understand that you're not making it up?  Do you understand what it is like to explain yourself over and over again?  To feel like no one you speak to has ears to hear what you are saying and even crying out?  Do you understand what it is like to be compared to others who "have it worse than you?"  To be told, "at least you don't have cancer or something like that?"  Do you understand what it is like to run out of options?  To no longer have anything else you can take for the pain?  Do you understand what it is like to lay in bed alone wondering if anyone out there understands?  

I do.