Today is Ash Wednesday. It is the time in the Christian church where many people either give up or take on something in resemblance to what Christ did for us on the cross. The traditional number for it is 40 days, though in reality it is 46 days. It goes until Easter. Some people give up chocolate, soda, sweets, television, etc. or they take on something like reading the Bible more often, giving more time to service, spending more time in prayer, etc.
This year, I have given up FBYTG, which stands for Facebook, YouTube, and Google. I'm not really excited about doing it, however I know that I will have much more free time for the next 46 days. This morning, my daily check of the internet took approximately 4 minutes. I checked my two email addresses, and I was done. I have no idea how I'm going to do with this sacrifice. Along with making this sacrifice, I have committed myself to spending 30 specific minutes studying the Word of God. Recently, I slacked off in this and devoted much of any time that I spent with God in prayer. I realized I was doing too much talking in the relationship with I examined myself and my relationship with God, so thus, this commitment was made.
Because this is really the only way that I'm posting online for the next while, I want to warn you that this blog is generally pretty person. It's who I am. It's who I've claimed to be and who I've reclaimed as who I actually am. So, I don't keep a filter on this. If you are one who doesn't want to know the truth, turn back now or forever hold your peace. Haha. I do make the comment box available, so you are always welcome to post your thoughts, comments, or questions. Now, while this is my out-pouring of my heart, I don't want this to take the place of what Facebook had become for me. I will only post once, perhaps twice, a day. And the posts will probably be long, but not books like I sometimes write. Today's is longer because I'm doing more explaining. However, most will be short updates or thoughts on life. Perhaps I'll even include a bit about what I've learned.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a pretty cheesy person. So, I'm going to tell you what I think I'm going to learn and we'll see how it compares in 40 days...well, 46 days.
Facebook had become a huge addiction for me recently with all the stuff that's been going on with my health. Facebook honestly became my lifeline to the world. On bad days for pain, I would sit and scroll up and down FB CONSTANTLY and chat with people, look at friends' profile pages, and keep up with what is going on in FB world, not to mention post LOTS of statuses (some more positive than others). Obviously, that lifeline is gone for the next while. I hope that my lifeline will be screwed in correctly this time. I hope my lifeline becomes God. Now, I know that is kind of an obvious one, but I'm also having issues with trust. Even today, I freaked out a little bit because I realized that I've completely detached myself from Facebook. I stopped the FB texts from coming to my phone. I logged completely out of FB. (I may even block the website from my computer for the time being.) AND...I deleted the FB app off my phone and replaced it with a Bible app. Talk about a rude awakening when I push that spot?! Haha. Anyway, back to the trust thing. There are some people that the only connection I have with them is through FB. There are some that will not contact me until Easter because I will be off FB. There are some people who will be able to tell me one thing and post another on FB. I can't tell you how nervous I am about it all. I guess it's my control factor kicking in too. I can't have those posts immediately coming to my phone so I can control the situation. The crazy thing is that these people also know that I'm off FB until Easter. So, in reality, they could post anything (even in regards to me) on FB, and I would never know until Easter. I know that I shouldn't feel that way and that I should be able to trust my friends to talk to me if they have a problem or put decent statuses up and understand why I can't look at them right now. But, I can't. I've been hurt too many times. Ya know, it was a lot easier to give up FB when all my friendships were doing just fine. Haha...So there's that issue that I really feel like God will be working on. And I'm still scared and nervous about it, but there isn't anything I can do but trust that God will get myself and my friendships through what may seem like forever, but merely 46 days. Hopefully He can nix some jealousy out too that is connected with the whole issue. But, I won't go into that right now!
I gave up YouTube, merely because it is something I turn to when I am bored. It isn't something that I'm addicted to, but I think the relief from it will be enjoyable.
And then there's Google. Now, why would someone give up Google for 46 days?! It connects back to my trust issue. I research everything, especially in regards to my health. So, other than what I need from such a wonderful search engine to do my homework, I won't be doing much research with it. I want to be able to trust people and trust that God knows what He is doing with my body. I hope and pray I don't regret this sacrifice. I don't think I will, but it'll be one of the more difficult ones.
ANYHOW...I gotta go. Apparently, I am going in to work today at my mom's office. Hopefully I have the energy to withstand it, but we'll see. Have an awesome day!!! Happy Ash Wednesday!
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