Purpose

Lately, I've been on a kick to go to Africa.  I have wanted to go to Africa for quite some time now, at least since I was in High School.  I suppose that I could go somewhere more pleasant and dreamy like Spain or Italy.  But, I've always had a special place in my heart for Africa.  Not even a specific country, until recently.

A while back, I went to the Cooperative School of Christian Mission that is held by the United Methodist Women.  We did a study on Sudan and the struggles and tyranny that is affecting the land and the people.  My heart sank.  It was as if I allowed the news to actually seem real.  I learned that people really were dealing with all the issues on a day-to-day basis.  AIDS was something more than what I read about for a sentence in a world history book.  It was real.  And it was taking lives.  Water really was something to be feared.  Who knew whether the water you drank would be clean or if it would take your health?  Children were killed or were deemed the caretakers of the family.  They didn't get the privilege of being innocent children.  (No matter how fast I grew up and became the mini-mom, I at least had my childhood innocence for a time.)

I just have this overwhelming feeling that I am sitting here in America in a bed I call my own in complete safety compared to what these people are dealing with every single day.  I don't know if I can help.  I don't know what exactly I can do.  But, I want to meet these people face to face.  I want to speak, in their language, the words of the Gospel that can bring peace to their lives amidst the war.  I want to bring them more than the physical help.  I know that they need healing and clean water.  I want to care for children and allow them to play games.  I want to learn their way of life.  I want to learn their perseverance. 

So, Sudan is the country on my heart.  I have friends in Kenya.  The child I sponsor through World Vision is from Kenya.  I do hope to go there.  I know there is struggle throughout much of that area of Africa.  You know, I look at pictures of Africa and I see two extremes...I see pictures of the animals running in the tall grass with the awesome looking trees and I see children dying of starvation with skin hardly hanging onto their bones.  It breaks my heart.

I don't care when I go.  I want to go.  It is a dream I won't lose.  Yes, there are places I could go and tour.  I want to go to Israel some day to see where Jesus walked and where He died for me.  I want to go to Europe and see all the beautiful cathedrals.  I want to see Rome and the Vatican City.  But all that takes second place to the people of Africa. 

While I was talking to Nichole last night about my longing to run away to Africa, she told me that I could run away there because I wouldn't come back.  Now, I know there is always that fear of something going wrong.  But she was actually referring to me going down there and staying there.  Like, on a forever basis.  It was kind of stunning.  I was only talking about going down there for a summer or a semester.  Not for the rest of my life.  So, I asked her why she thought that I wouldn't come back.  She said that it would be because I would find my purpose there.  Of course, I had to ask her what my purpose is.  She responded very simply, "To help people."  Then, there was silence.

Nichole nailed it.  (Of course, she has the knowledge of a best friend, so she knows me very well.)  Everything that I've been working to incorporate into my life revolves around this purpose.  When I can't do this purpose, that's when I get depressed.  When I can't fix something or make something all better, it gets me down.  It's the reason I loved being a part of leadership teams.  I felt like that "position" could help people by the decisions I make.  It's the natural leader in me too.  I wanted so badly to fix my parents' marriage because I saw people hurting.  I care about people who aren't feeling well, and while I don't have the power to heal them, I love being able to nurture them.  And perhaps that is the mini-mom in me too.  Everything I do, I try to help people.

So, I think my wanting to run away to Africa is to help people.  And perhaps Nichole knew that I'm feeling exhausted and defeated here in America.  It seems like everywhere around me, there are people I can't help.  But, somehow I know that there are more people who are hurting that I can help.  I just haven't been in a place to see them before now.  Though, don't get me wrong...I still want to go to Africa.  I just know that I still have purpose.

Amidst all that's been said about what this purpose is, I think Nichole and I both know the best way to help people.  Sure, I can build a well that gives clean water and I can administer vaccines to people to prevent STDs.  I can play with children and let them know that they are loved and I can hand out food to those who have nothing.  I can do that here and there.  But, the absolute best thing that I have to offer is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  The best thing I can do is let them know that, yes, I love them, but Someone greater than I loves them more than anyone will ever comprehend.  I can't give them peace that lasts without connecting it to Jesus.  So, the Great Commission is my purpose.  And my life verse(s) is what I give.

"He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, 

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:29-31 (NIV)