Today, Nichole and I decided to try the Church of St. Cletus. We went to the noon mass. It was definitely a contemporary mass...and I felt completely at home. To the few of you that I've talked to, you know the excitement that I have! This is EXACTLY what I needed: the reverence for the Christ and the Eucharist as well as the contemporary music to bring it to heart for me. SO, I've chosen where I will be going in the coming weeks, months, and YEARS! I hope to set up an appointment with one of the Fathers for later this week to talk about joining the fun and things like that! I'd love to figure out how to do the whole Confession thing and begin doing that. Sounds kinda crazy that I want to go to confession, but I really feel it would help me sort through my life and get it back to the "me" it used to be (only in a new phase of life). In other words, I want the joy and the peace I had...AND the motivation and momentum to do anything my heart led me to do!
On another topic, I have a rheumatologist appointment in the St. Louis area Tuesday morning. It's early so I have to drive from school to Monday evening after arriving home just today after a long weekend! THEN, I must deal with the rheumy and drive back for more finals on Wednesday that I've not even looked at yet. I'm already stressed about the finals I've been studying for that are tomorrow, none the less the finals I haven't studied for yet!!! BUT...I've waited for this appointment for MONTHS so Mom thinks I should go. I hate that I have to do all this driving. It's a 4 hour trip which is hard on my body when it is weak like this. It just really frustrates me that I have to deal with another doctor in the middle of finals week. I'm nearly panicked. I am in tears with frustration and stress keeps on piling on top of me. :'( I just don't know anymore. My grades will drop this semester. No doubt in that. I'd love to keep my 4.0, but somehow I feel that isn't going to happen by a long shot! I know that a B would be great for some people, but I have INCREDIBLY HIGH standards for myself. I feel like I'm surrendering though. I'm allowing my health to take priority over my school work and that isn't like me. That's like this "me" that I've become because of the trauma my body has been through in recent months.
I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like I have to choose between what I want and what my body wants. My body hates me right now. It hardly made it through the drive back here and now I'm going to terrorize it again and make the drive the next three days. The stress isn't helping my body either. And stress is kind of the definition for finals week. But hey, it's only two weeks out of the year!
So, I won't drag this out too long, but please say a prayer that this all works out as God wants. I'm relying on Him to pull me through. AND...I must confess that I AM SOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT BECOMING A CATHOLIC!!!! LOL! :) Oh, and Happy Mothers' Day!
BUNNIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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