Be Real!

I'm learning. I'm learning a whole lot these days. Some days go better than others. But right now, these two words are my prayer: vulnerability and accountability.

I need to learn to be vulnerable. To admit when I'm wrong and be willing to open up about my life. You think this is easy until pride seeps in. Now, pride and I have been awfully good friends since I was little and honestly, it isn't easy letting a habit so strong go. But it is necessary to grow in God. Vulnerability comes at the worst of times but it is also something you have to cause yourself to do. I sometimes say that I'm an open book: you ask and I'll tell ya the truth. But when it comes to telling my life's sin, I seem to follow don't ask don't tell. I get real quiet when questions arise and unless you ask me directly, I will probably say nothing or a very brief answer. (Mostly nothing!!!) Ya see, being vulnerable messes with pride (a deadly sin). And while I would love to be free from pride, being open about myself to other people can be scary. "What will they think?!" Top answer? Who cares!!! God is the only one who will be judging you in final judgement for that sin(s). So why should I care if people judge me. I think God can clean up that mess a whole lot easier than God can clean up a mess of our pride. I think what is getting me about this is that vulnerability is essential for true trust in God. To make ourselves not only vulnerable to others but also to God. To allow Him to have His way in us. To crucify our will and pick up His. To see that He is God. We are not. Vulnerability is essential to accountability. Accountability can not happen unless we are truthful with ourselves and others and GOD! But it isn't easy either.

I love accountability because it gives you responsibility. The responsibility to practice what you preach and be honest with where you are at in life. To be real and authentic no matter what you "should" be like. Where you are is only part of the journey. The desire to go forward must be there and until I realized how screwed up my human self is, I couldn't have the desire or ability to see past that to what God can do!

I'm not perfect at this stuff by any means. But this is what God has been teaching me the last 24 hours or so. Or even in the last week or two. It's the whisper in my ear when a question is asked at Bible study or at work to "Be real."

Essentially, what it boils down to be real. Period. Don't gloss over your mistakes, instead recognize them and do better next time (or let there not be a next time). Be willing to crucify that pride and be honest to others. It keeps you accountable to your actions and words.

I'm pondering starting some sort of Bible study/accountability group here on the STL side of MO. Not sure where, when, or even the method (online/FB/email/in-person). But join me in prayer and comment with thoughts. But even if something doesn't get started, be real.

Be you. Even if you is screwed up, YOU are loved by God! And through the power of God, you can be healed and made new! Be who you are because God doesn't want anything less than who He made you to be!