Defines and Refines

Because of one's curiosity, I am sure some of you might be wondering why God has asked me to cover my head. The simple answer is that He calls for submission. In my last post, I talked about how God defines me and refines me. By covering my head, He has emphasized that I am in submission to Him and His will. He is the one who created me and He is the one who provides and sustains me. It is HIM who allows me to be forgiven and to live a life of free will. He is the one who allows me to spend eternity with Him! With that being said, YES...He deserves submissive behavior from me, a screwed up daughter of His who has been justified through Christ's death on the cross. Because of this simple concept of submitting to God, I believe that God specifically called me to cover my head.

For those of you who are searching for a more complicated answer...I believe that God wanted me to learn how to stand firm in Him by submitting to His will, even if it meant being different (or radical). Let's break it down!

God wanted me to learn how to stand firm in Him...By covering my head, I have been able to answer 50 jillion questions! I have been asked questions about things other than head covering too, because people see religious and get curious. Sure, I haven't always had the answers, but I have learned how to share what I know to be true. Before covering, I fully believe that I was ashamed to be a Christ follower. I didn't feel like I had it all right. And I certainly didn't know how to share God with others. I can't pin point what caused me to be so ashamed, but I know that whatever it was is gone now. There are times when I am saddened at the way Christianity is going, however, I am NOT ashamed of my Savior!!!!! (If you know me personally, you can ask what I think are possible causes of my "ashamed feelings." I will probably tell you pride or fear of the cost.) Covering has helped me not be so ashamed because I am doing something that is VERY MUCH an outward sign that I believe in SOMETHING! Thus, the questions came (and still come) regarding what I believe. Can I honestly share the Good News and what change has happened in my life if I am ashamed of the One who has changed me from the inside out???

...by submitting to His will. It's not easy getting up in the morning and covering something you honestly love. I didn't realize how addicted I was to my hair, until I began covering it. I hated covering my head the first couple weeks. Now that I've fully adjusted, it's not terrible...though I do miss my hair. I've learned that submission sometimes means doing something that I might not want to do. And that's okay. As much as Jesus was God and loved us, I wonder if He really wanted to submit as a human being and go through the death on the cross. Surely...SURELY I can do something as simple as cover my head in order to submit to Him. Submitting to His will has always been something that I've struggled with. There were times when I was covering that I simply disobeyed because I thought my way was better. Obviously, it wasn't. However, I couldn't see the big picture, and some days I had a green sky because my picture wasn't even facing the right direction. There were some days when He asked me to do something and I simply refused. I immediately was stopped dead in my tracks. I'm not sure if any of you have used a shock collar on your dog before to perhaps keep it from leaving the yard, etc. That's been my experience with head covering. I KNOW when I've messed up. I know when I've disobeyed. By covering, I've been able to submit to His will more fully because I know when I'm "leaving the yard." Again...it goes with the whole submission to God because He deserves it theme!

...even if it meant being different (or radical). Yeah, I'll admit. Covering my head is different. It's something that one might not see everyday. (Unless you are on a college campus with any Muslim women who might choose to cover their heads or a Catholic church where nuns wear a headdress...Or, around Amish or Jewish people often.) As a Christian, it isn't well known or forced to cover one's head. In the beginning, I really thought I was supposed to cover my head due to Scripture. I poured over the Bible and different commentaries. I spent HOURS in prayer about it for weeks before I began. I thought God was calling me to obedience of the Scripture in 1 Corinthians 11. However, along the way, I realized that I didn't want to be obeying a book (though I recognize its holiness)...I'd rather obey my GOD! Especially on such a controversial Scripture! So, I cover on a day-to-day basis with Him. As He guides me, I will cover. And I know that it may seem extreme. When people hear the word "radical," a lot of people assume this to mean something in regards to extremity and terrorists. However, if you look at the definition of "radical" that I gave when I first started covering, it said "of or from the root or roots; going to the foundation or source of something; fundamental; basic" (Webster's New World College Dictionary, 1996). By covering, I have gotten back to the basics. Back to the basics of being a disciple of Christ. It's ALL about loving God. How we each love God is different depending on the talents He has given to each of us. One talent (though not readily accepted) has been to cover my head. Like I mentioned earlier, I have been able to witness through it by answering questions, but I also have grown great strides within myself. I am able to love God more fully by what I've been taught! I'M NOT ASHAMED OF CHRIST!!!! I am able to see where in my life that needs work! I am able to see where God is working in me...and look past people's appearance to see how God is working in their lives! It's incredible. I can't explain it all to you because most of the transformation has happened on the inside.

I've gone through a really REALLY tough year. With my parents getting a divorce and my struggle with depression, I haven't been able to be "me." I honestly believe that covering saved my relationship with Christ. Without covering, I would still be the prideful girl hiding in the corner ashamed to tell ANYONE about Christ. I would still be the girl who wants to die because nothing seems to be going her way and God seems to be against her. By covering, God and I have been able to defeat obstacles that seemed SO large...yet, they were absolutely nothing for God to win the victory. GOD HAS OVERCOME DEATH ITSELF! Nothing is impossible for God. And I believe that.

Now, before you think my pride is sneaking out, let me say that I'm not perfect. I still don't think that I submit to His will perfectly. There is still a lot of paperwork for me to get done in order to continue in the pastoral process that has been sitting on my desk for quite some time. AND let me assure you that I am not fully disconnected from my love of my hair (though I believe it is okay, to a point). However, I can also assure you that it is GOD who defines me. He loves me more than anything and He is my motivation, strength, and comfort. AND because HE loves me, He also refines me. Covering one's head can seem crazy...but I can guarantee that Jesus did not follow every social norm. God is able to do immeasurably more than anything we can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20), however...we have to be willing to do what He asks no matter how crazy it sounds...because God is the only One who can see the big picture.

God asked me to cover my head because God wanted me to learn how to stand firm in Him by submitting to His will, even if it meant being radical.

God defines me AND refines me! Praise GOD!