Monday, September 13, 2010

Heartache and Healing...

So, I thought I would write to make sure everyone is up to speed about what's going on in my life right now...

I am still covering. It has been going pretty well. Yesterday, my church family saw me with my head cover on for the second week in a row. (I went home to preach last weekend, and I wore it.) I think most people just assumed that it was a fashion statement the first time, but it really shocked some people to see me with it on again! I had one woman come up to me in tears because she didn't understand why I was covering "such beautiful hair." Honestly, my heart broke, yet I was reminded of why I wear my head cover. It isn't because of vanity. I don't wear it for modesty...I wear it because of the Scripture and what God has specifically asked me to do in regards to that Scripture. It's been 37 days that I have worn my head covering full time (meaning while I am awake). During this time, I have been reminded constantly to pray (especially when people are so distraught with my decision that they stare for long, awkward amounts of time). I have learned not to make my covering another meaningless habit. I think a major part of it is making sure that I remind myself why I cover every morning when I get up. If I don't have my devotional time in the morning where I connect on a deep level with God and remind myself why I cover, the day goes much rougher than it should go! Looking forward to learning more about myself, others, and ultimately God through my head covering...

This past week was EXTREMELY hard on me. I really fell into a depressed mood with no motivation or passion for anything in this life, or for life itself. It caused a lot of heartache on me, and the persons pulling me through the storm! I REALLY appreciate my besties! :) It didn't help that I did a lot of questioning about what I believe and who God really is...And my favorite, HOW DOES THE TRINITY MAKE SENSE?!?! At one point in time, I was so frustrated with the fact that, sometimes, God is incomprehensible that I stopped looking to God for help to get me through everything. (Not a wise choice.) However, because a friend was struggling with many of the same issues, we were able to talk about life and our beliefs. Some of it, we were able to work out...but I think our main conclusion is Job 42...Sometimes, we don't always know what God is up to...BUT, we have to trust that He knows what's best and have a lil' faith (even as small amount as a mustard seed) to pull us through. And thus, the healing began...

The healing is still happening. The aches are still wearing off from this past week...but God is healing them through asking me to dig into His Word and stay on my knees in a regular prayer time. Through fellowship with other Christians and worship, I am able to stay connected, which is SOOO important!

Anyhow, I told myself not to make this too long...so if you've actually made it to here...THANKS for reading! :) So, that's all for now!

Loving God, Loving People...That's what it's all about! Realize there will be heartache and healing along the way...But God never leaves your side!

1 comment:

  1. You really are an inspiration, friend. I have been going through a pretty serious low season lately and I've been needing reminders on how to look to God for the answers. You're absolutely right, there will be heartache and not everything is always going to make sense, but God will guide us through. He always does.

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