My Journal

I feel the need to update the blogging world again. I'm not sure if any of you actually realize how much of a journal this is for me, but you will certainly see it in my post today. Sorry.

So I'm beginning to wonder if anyone honestly believes what I am going through with my health is more than just "my sadness." It's getting to be more frustrating as the weeks go on. I completely agree that stress and vitamin D deficiencies affect one's body, but I'm just not sure anymore. I'd be more than happy if it is only my vitamin D levels that is causing all the pain, but it seems like 4 weeks into my vitamin therapy that there should be some sort of change. I know that it isn't realistic for a 19 year-old to keep having all these body aches and pains. But, my reaction to that is...WHEN HAVE I EVER ACTUALLY BEEN MY AGE?!?!?! So, I guess we will see. It's just starting to wear me down. I love supporting others, though. It's kind of what I do! :)

Speaking of what I do. :) I'm starting to wonder if I know what I'm supposed to do with my life. I still sort of feel a call to ministry. Like ordained ministry. But more and more often, I wonder if God might have been crazy calling me...or if I just created my own call since I was little. I've always wanted to be a pastor, so I'm not really sure if it's what I want to do, or if God planted that passion, or what?! I really don't know anymore. I am hoping to figure out what is going on regarding schools. I am really considering getting a teaching degree. This would allow me to teach English. I am afraid to stray away from the path that I am on though because I don't want to be in school for forever. I want to move on with my life. Get to go where I am supposed to be going.

As for the friend life...I am not really sure what's going on. I thought I had two best friends. While my two besties really seem like their friendship is going well, mine is failing. It's really hard thinking about losing a friendship that has really been there for me the past three years!!! But, I am really having issues because I am tired of trying to save the friendship if it isn't meant to be. I am done. I am done trying. :(

Ummm....Let's see if I can end on a positive note. Lol. I'm now on the 6th season of Stargate SG-1, my new addiction. I have crocheted almost 2 entire prayer shawls this week and a scarf. AND...I'm really excited about serving on the Chrysalis weekend that is 12 days from now!!!

Alright...that's all I got! Thanks for reading!

OH...My parents divorce was finally finalized after 13 LONG months. Time for the healing to begin!!! Like...for real!!! :)