GREAT Read

This is by FAR the best letter ever written.  I would never have this letter written to me, but...I think it is pretty darn hilarious.  Take it as a joke...but seriously, it's great!!!  I did not write it, so I have no credibility in this piece of art.  It was shared to me through a group that I am in on Facebook.  Regardless, please enjoy the great read below entitled:


"Advice from an ER Doctor to a Drug Seeker"

OK, I am not going to lecture you about the dangers of narcotic pain medicines. We both know how addictive they are: you because you know how it feels when you don't have your vicodin, me because I've seen many many many people just like you. However, there are a few things I can tell you that would make us both much happier. By following a few simple rules our little clinical transaction can go more smoothly and we'll both be happier because you get out of the ER quicker.

The first rule is be nice to the nurses. They are underpaid, overworked, and have a lot more influence over your stay in the ER than you think. When you are tempted to treat them like shit because they are not the ones who write the rx, remember: I might write for you to get a shot of 2mg of dilaudid, but your behavior toward the nurses determines what percent of that dilaudid is squirted onto the floor before you get your shot.

The second rule is pick a simple, non-dangerous, (non-verifiable) painful condition which doesn't require me to do a four thousand dollar work-up in order to get you out of the ER. If you tell me that you headache started suddenly and is the 'worst headache of your life' you will either end up with a spinal tap or signing out against medical advice without an rx for pain medicine. The parts of the story that you think make you sound pitiful and worthy of extra narcotics make me worry that you have a bleeding aneurysm. And while I am 99% sure its not, I'm not willing to lay my license and my families future on the line for your ass. I also don't want to miss the poor bastard who really has a bleed, so everyone with that history gets a needle in the back. Just stick to a history of your 'typical pain that is totally the same as I usually get' and we will both be much happier.

The third rule (related to #2) is never rate your pain a 10/10. 10/10 means the worst pain you could possibly imagine. I've seen people in a 10/10 pain and you sitting there playing tetris on your cell phone are not in 10/10 pain. 10/10 pain is an open fracture dangling in the wind, a 50% body surface deep partial thickness burn, or the pain of a real cerebral aneurysm. Even when I passed a kidney stone, the worst pain I had was probably a 7. And that was when I was projectile vomiting and crying for my mother. So stick with a nice 7 or even an 8. That means to me you are hurting by you might not be lying. (See below.)

The fourth rule is never ever ever lie to me about who you are or your history. If you come to the ER and give us a fake name so we can't get your old records I will assume you are a worse douchetard than you really are. More importantly though it will really really piss me the fuck off. Pissing off the guy who writes the rx you want does not work to your advantage.

The fifth rule is don't assume I am an idiot. I went to medical school. That is certainly no guarantee that I am a rocket scientist I know (hell, I went to school with a few people who were a couple of french fries short of a happy meal.) However, I also got an ER residency spot which means I was in the top quarter or so of my class. This means it is a fair guess I am a reasonably smart guy. So if I read your triage note and 1) you list allergies to every non-narcotic pain medicine ever made, 2) you have a history of migraines, fibromyalgia, and lumbar disk disease, and 3) your doctor is on vacation, only has clinic on alternate Tuesdays, or is dead, I am smart enough to read that as: you are scamming for some vicodin. That in and of itself won't necessarily mean you don't get any pain medicine. Hell, the fucktards who list and allergy to tylenol but who can take vicodin (which contains tylenol) are at least good for a few laughs at the nurses station. However, if you give that history everyone in the ER from me to the guy who mops the floor will know you are a lying douchetard who is scamming for vicodin. (See rule # 4 about lying.)

The sixth and final rule is wait your fucking turn. If the nurse triages you to the waiting room but brings patients who arrived after you back to be treated first, that is because this is an EMERGENCY room and they are sicker than you are. You getting a fix of vicodin is not more important than the 6 year old with a severe asthma attack. Telling the nurse at triage that now your migraine is giving you chest pain since you have been sitting a half hour in the waiting area to try to force her into taking you back sooner is a recipe for making all of us hate you. Even if you end up coming back immediately, I will make it my mission that night to torment you. You will not get the pain medicine you want under any circumstances. And I firmly believe that if you manipulate your way to the back and make a 19 year old young woman with an ectopic pregnancy that might kill her in a few hours wait even a moment longer to be seen, I should be able to piss in a glass and make you drink it before you leave the ER.

So if you keep these few simple rules in mind, our interaction will go much more smoothly. I don't really give a shit if I give 20 vicodins to a drug-seeker. Before I was burnt out in the ER I was a hippy and I would honestly rather give that to ten of you guys than make one person in real pain (unrelated to withdrawal) suffer. However, if you insist on waving a flourescent orange flag that says 'I am a drug seeker' and pissing me and the nurses off with your behavior, I am less likely to give you that rx. You don't want that. I don't want that. So lets keep this simple, easy, and we'll all be much happier.

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood ER doctor

Two Extremes

Let's see, good news or bad news first.......

BAD NEWS:  My rheumatologist appointment did not go well.  Good part of the bad news?  My rheumy doesn't think I have rheumatoid arthritis.  That's great, but I am still in tons of pain every day and she isn't doing anything about it.  Even if it is only the fibromyalgia that is causing all of the problems, she didn't even adjust any meds or give any advice on how to reduce/stop the pain.  It is making me crazy! My body is not some piece of useless material that can be thrown to the side while the doctor waits to mend it.  It doesn't work like that.  I have to be able to use my body!  Ha.  I want to be able to do so many things, but I can't if I don't have the strength to do it.  OR, if I physically can't because of the pain.  I hate that doctors pull you along on this vision that they know what they are talking about, BUT when it comes to diagnosing you, they are completely oblivious to your symptoms of pain and don't know/understand what is causing the pain and how to fix it.  And ANYONE who tells me that I don't like this doctor because they didn't diagnose me with something I thought I might have because a doctor told me I might have it is NO friend of mine.  That is probably the WORST thing you can tell someone who struggles every day with an invisible disease and experiences the pain that I feel.  It is hard enough as it is.  Don't make it worse.  I pay doctors to help me get better.  This one isn't.  That means they are not doing their job.  Don't tell me that I am just mad because the doctor didn't diagnose me with rheumatoid arthritis.  Just...don't make it worse.

On to a better topic...

GOOD NEWS:  I AM FULLY REGISTERED FOR FALL 2011 CLASSES!!!!!!  I had orientation and registration for my new university that I am transferring my credits to.  I breezed through most of the day.  I didn't have to take the english or math assessments...which was AWESOME!!!  And then I figured out that I definitely have enough loans and financial aid to help with the costs for the upcoming year.  Again, awesome.  After financial aid, I got to register for classes, which was BY FAR my favorite part.  I registered as an English major...but not just a simple English major, rather a SECONDARY ENGLISH EDUCATION major!!!!!!  I'm really excited about it.  My classes aren't that exciting, but I am back in the music realm too!  WHICH IS REALLLLLLLYYYYYY EXCITING!!!

Anyhow, I'm done typing for now.  There's the two extremes of my day, and it's not even 4pm yet!  Still have a ways to go....So Adios!

Family

It's been a while since I posted, so I figured I would today!  First and foremost, happy independence day!  Welcome to mid-summer!  Hope you all are staying cool and DRY?!  It looks like it will be an okay night for fireworks, considering it was pouring all afternoon/evening yesterday!!!  So that's exciting!  I heard rumor that we were shooting off our own fireworks tonight at Nichole's place.  I haven't done that in YEARS, so while I'm not lighting them, I want to make sure to give others a hard time about it.  Just kidding!!!  (Kind of...lol.)

Since it is July, the Kelly family is gearing up to go OUT OF THE COUNTRY?!?!?!  I take them to the airport on Friday afternoon for them to leave for their Baltic Cruise.  I am terribly jealous, because I know they are going to have a PHENOMENAL TIME!!!!!!!  Plus, I've never been out of the country, nor on a cruise ship, and they get to do both!  So, that's really exciting for Nichole and her family.  It'll be exciting to hear all of their stories when they return.  As they gear up to go cruisin', I am learning all I can about taking care of their pets.  They have two dogs (easy!!!), two bunnies (which are ADORABLE), and two birds (which seem easy, but still are a bit scary).  Today, I got out the bunnies to love on them a while while Nichole was at work.  They are so cute and totally worth the coated clothes!!!  Okay, legitimately, my clothes are COVERED in bunny fur.  I changed completely afterwards.  As I'm getting to know the bunnies and being able to get them out by myself, I'm feeling more comfortable with taking care of them.  I don't want their animals to be cooped up in a cage for two weeks, so being able to get them out and back in without any huge obstacles is comforting!!!  And while Ashes likes to cuddle, Emily is active and fun to play with.  She is slowly growing on me!  :)  As for the birds, I'm learning.  They are seeming easier to handle than what I first imagined.  Ruby, the African Grey, doesn't really care for me, but I'm learning tricks for how to deal with her. I learned how to feed Freckles, the cockatiel, last night.  He isn't too bad, and while he enjoys flying, he was hurt last week in a flying adventure so in recovering for that, he is not flying much.  His wings were clipped.  So, while he may not like me very much, at least I don't have to chase him around too much! Haha.  The dogs, Bailey and Clyde, are easy to take care of.  They like their food wet, which is gross, but whatever?!  Lol.  They are the most laid back, well-behaved dogs I have EVER encountered!!!  They listen to me better than my own dog, Jax, listens to me!!!  So, needless to say, I'm learning how to take care of their most precious family additions.  

I'm much better today than I was yesterday.  I really don't like this new med that I started last week.  It makes me extremely tired and groggy.  I sleep 10+ hours a night, which I really can't afford to get into the habit of.  No issue of insomnia there!!!  My body hurts still, but what's new?!  I am doing better in the long run, but I still seem to be in more pain than I should be in.  After a talk with my best friend last night, I think it would probably be best to try a different course in meds or something!  The physical therapy is helping, but outside of the sessions, I'm not doing the greatest at keeping up with it.  The exercises are not as simple as they seem and I fear I am doing them wrong when I do them.  BUT, it is nice to walk out of a PT session with pain levels as low as 1!  Hopefully, my rheumatologist can figure out why my rheumatoid factor is high and why I still have tons of joint pain even though I'm on a medicine used to treat rheumatoid arthritis.  I should see some sort of difference two months into the med, right???  Anyway, I think as my life gets put back in order and I catch up on my finances, the lowered stress will be able to lower my pain levels a bit too.  Perhaps not to a zero, but at least some.  

Okay, I'm getting bored of talking about my health, so on to something else?!

Oh, I was able to visit some family from England yesterday.  That was fun!  Exhausting, but good!  I am still struggling to figure out some things regarding my more immediate family, but that's not for the blogging world to see.  Sorry!  But, prayers are appreciated as I discern what to do and how to go about doing it!  Thanks!

Anything else you want to know, you can always comment or email me!  Beyond that, I'm done.  

My Definition

Today, I asked the Facebook world what a best friend was. While I am not always the greatest best friend, I do have pretty high standards for someone to be my best friend.  It is more than just being my closest friend.  It is more than just liking me and me liking you.  A lot of these qualities I say merely because it is part of being a decent person, but are pretty much required in friendship.  Anyhow, I'll just get to the definition:

A best friend:

• is someone who knows the real you, which goes far beyond commonalities.  
• is someone you can call at any hour and rely on them to be there.
• is someone who cares about you and treats you with respect.
• is someone who is brutally honest, even if it means hurting your feelings.  
• loves you for who you are now and nothing more.
• does not judge you, but will tell you when you are in the wrong.
• is compassionate.
• is someone you can look up to.
• cheers you up when no one else can.
• has a shoulder to cry on.
• keeps no secrets from you and can hold all of yours.
• supports you.
• can talk about anything with you and vice versa.  
• is someone you trust with your life.

Anyhow, that's my definition.  While this definition seems like a perfect person, it is far from it...Mainly because we are human and my best friend has all of these!  So that's all.  

Ketchup

I haven't updated you all in a while, so I thought I'd do a "Ketchup" post.  :)

All in all, I've been pretty good.  This past weekend, I went down to the beach with my mom, her fiancee, his kid, my sister, my littlest brother Jacob.  I had a good time.  Wednesday night, after dance class, we headed down to Alabama where we picked up him and his crew.  We didn't get in until SUPER late, or early...6am?!  Then we snoozed for a lil' while at his place.  Then, we packed our bags and hit the road for the beach.  This trip was quite the ordeal as it was one of the few times that I was going down to AL, but also going gluten free.

It seems like everything in the south is fried.  You've got fried tomatoes, fried chicken, fried shrimp, fried ANYTHING?!  So, getting food was quite the challenge.  The first two places we ate were a major fail.  One night my plate had a roll on it.  The second night I had fried jalapeno hushpuppies.  Then we began to eat at places that were a little more friendly to me.  One place had an allergy menu, so I could cross gluten off the list.  The manager had to come and take my order and then brought out my food.  It was so comforting knowing that they cared about people who couldn't eat gluten.  The next place had a gluten free menu, so I just ordered off of it.  I know my family isn't used to having someone around with food allergies, and I know my mom isn't a fan of this diet, but I think after this weekend, they are beginning to adjust to it.  Even though they were impatient at times, they are beginning to see what I can eat and what I can't, which is a great start!  (And I even made a conscious choice to pray before each meal, even if I was doing it alone!!!)

Eating gluten free isn't the only thing my family learned while we were at the beach.  They also began to see that I can't do everything.  I talk about my health a lot on here because it limits a lot of what I can and can't do.  The first night at the beach, I was so worn out from the drive and lack of sleep that I couldn't even manage to get out of bed to go eat dinner.  The second night I was able to go out because I paced myself.  We also got to go play mini golf, during which I scored 2nd place!!!  That was exciting!  I wasn't able to spend Saturday on the beach because I had overdone myself the night before, but I was able to sit out with the family and play a game of Yahtzee!  Unfortunately, I scored in 2nd place again?!  Seemed to be a theme.  Sunday, I riled myself out of bed to go to Mass at 8 in the morning!  I was told we were to leave the condo at 10am, so I was under the impression that everyone would be pretty much packed and ready to load when I got back.  Yeah, apparently not.  Everyone was sleeping when I got back.  Not so great!  SO...I had a bowl of yummy goodness!  :-)

Meet Yummy Goodness.  This is a creation by Nichole, my best friend.  It is vanilla ice cream, covered in strawberries (which have been soaked in sugar), and caramel topping.  It is DELICIOUS!!!  I eat lots of this because it makes me happy.  Lol.  I made sure I had this down south too.  It is gluten free as all of the parts are gluten free! ;)  So, I had a bowl of this for breakfast after I got back from Mass.  BTW, Happy Pentecost half a week late!  Of course, we got up and out of there eventually, but I was exhausted from it all!  After the long 8 hour drive back from his place on Monday morning, Morgan and I had stage rehearsals.  Now, she did most of the dancing, but not being home killed me.  I also played around with the lights since I'm running lights this weekend and did a lil' dancing of my own for the alumni dance!  Around 10:15pm, I finally arrived home.  After unpacking, I crawled into bed grateful to have such a comfy bed!!!  It was certainly a weekend!!!

Since then, I haven't done much.  I got to go see Nichole for a little while yesterday.  I was happy to see her, although she wasn't so happy to go back to season ONE on Prison Break when she was at a cliff hanger on season THREE?!?!?!  But, she did...until she got her sister's computer to watch her episodes with headphones.  Lol.  Either way, we got to hang out for a while.  OH...We also painted our toes again!  I just put glitter on mine this week.  It made up for her super cute pink and green toes with flowers!!!  ;)

Anyhow, I am in a lot of pain today.  I hate how fibromyalgia works...Ya never know when a bad day will come.  But, I'll make it through.  Really wishing I could find a job...It is driving me crazy!  But, who knows?!  Someday someone will hire me.  Just hope it is sooner rather than later.  I'm wondering if I still have ice cream here...if so, Yummy Goodness will be an order.  Especially since I had M&Ms for breakfast.  Lol.  Great diet!  I know!  Hopefully this was a decent Ketchup!  Much love!

Journal vs. Blog

Lately, I've been thinking.  I've been pondering about what I write on my blog.  My dad mentioned something today about what goes out on his blog...not that anything is bad, but that it is heartfelt and could be "interesting" if the wrong eyes saw it.  While I don't feel like my blog discusses anything that would be harmful to anyone, I suppose in the future it could be harmful to myself in the job market or whatever just by the choices I made and what is portrayed on the blog.  I love being able to write my feelings out...but lately, I've closed off a lot of those.  I've gotten so many people asking why I write about what I do and then there's the eyes of my father and grandma looking upon my blog.  While I love them dearly and I never direct my writing to their eyes, I still have that audience in the back of my mind.  I am in hopes that many more people read my blog and don't follow it because I KNOW that there are people out there who can relate with my story...

SOOOO...In short, you all have gotten fewer and fewer of my feelings and more of what's been going on...this is due in part to my journaling habits.  I stopped journaling everyday a while back and recently, in an effort to not pour out my entire heart into a blog post, I picked journaling back up.  I love to journal, but it is hard because sometimes I want what I have to say out there...which is where this blog comes in.

Now, I know that this probably doesn't make much sense right now.  I blame it on my headache which is getting worse because of the pain to type this (and I thought I was going to be able to write tonight?!).  ANYHOW, the blog will still get a lot of my thoughts, etc...but some will be reserved for my journal.  And no worries to the best friend.  :)  You will still get all of my thoughts because I can't keep anything from ya!  Trust me!

I'm still an open book, so you can ask me anything and everything in person, by email, or on here.  I've yet to reject answering a question.  SO...that's the balance between knowing what to blog about and what to journal about.  I'm sure my father is happy with this.  Lol.

Nighty night!

Education and Judgment

As you all should know…For my birthday, I would LOVE for everyone to donate to the endometriosis association!  Now, I know it seems pointless to ask for you all to give to an association for a disease that I don’t have, but my best friend has it and I’ve seen the pain that it has caused her even though it is an invisible disease to the human eye.  And here’s the thing…she isn’t the only one dealing with it.  There are others…a lot of other women who struggle with it!  Today, I was reading a blog post by a woman named Lena.  She spoke to how tired she is and how the disease has affected her life:

“I am tired of trying to deal with people who don't understand my diseases and think I should live with this pain. I have been told to cope with it…How is one suppose to cope when you have endometriosis. A disease that you wish someone would ripe your insides out even after they have been taken. A disease that makes you curl up in a ball and cry because there is nothing else to do because pain meds. aren't working. The thing that has hurt me the most was the day I was visiting my parents. At first it was like any other day. Then my father looked at me and said "Are you getting lazy?"…I AM TIRED OF BEING JUDGED BECAUSE I HAVE THESE DISEASES. I KNOW THEY ARE INVISIBLE. BUT TO ME THEY ARE VERY REAL. SO PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME, TALK TO ME. ASK QUESTIONS AND I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT THEM. THESE DISEASES ARE REAL!!!!”

She is merely one of millions!  And the one thing that she wants more than anything is not to be judged.  Rather than judging, she wants education.  She wants you to know what is going on with her body so that you can see her as a real person!  There are always good days and bad days, but endometriosis is a disease that is wide-spread across the globe and few people actually know about it.  That’s where the endometriosis association comes in.  They educate people everywhere.  They are the ones to provide the funding for research so that we can figure out what causes this disease and how to treat it.  Perhaps one day, they will be the ones to cure the disease!!!  (Wouldn’t that be amazing!!!) 

I’m turning twenty this year…Twenty dollars can give these women hope.  It can bring a smile to their faces.  Even just five dollars would be great!  Please don’t let me down!  And please don’t let these women down!

How to give:

1.  Give me a check made out to the endometriosis association.

2. Give me cash and I’ll write a check to the endo association.

3. Go online and give at http://www.endometriosisassn.org/donate.html

Be the one to tell millions of girls that you care about their pain!