Family

It's been a while since I posted, so I figured I would today!  First and foremost, happy independence day!  Welcome to mid-summer!  Hope you all are staying cool and DRY?!  It looks like it will be an okay night for fireworks, considering it was pouring all afternoon/evening yesterday!!!  So that's exciting!  I heard rumor that we were shooting off our own fireworks tonight at Nichole's place.  I haven't done that in YEARS, so while I'm not lighting them, I want to make sure to give others a hard time about it.  Just kidding!!!  (Kind of...lol.)

Since it is July, the Kelly family is gearing up to go OUT OF THE COUNTRY?!?!?!  I take them to the airport on Friday afternoon for them to leave for their Baltic Cruise.  I am terribly jealous, because I know they are going to have a PHENOMENAL TIME!!!!!!!  Plus, I've never been out of the country, nor on a cruise ship, and they get to do both!  So, that's really exciting for Nichole and her family.  It'll be exciting to hear all of their stories when they return.  As they gear up to go cruisin', I am learning all I can about taking care of their pets.  They have two dogs (easy!!!), two bunnies (which are ADORABLE), and two birds (which seem easy, but still are a bit scary).  Today, I got out the bunnies to love on them a while while Nichole was at work.  They are so cute and totally worth the coated clothes!!!  Okay, legitimately, my clothes are COVERED in bunny fur.  I changed completely afterwards.  As I'm getting to know the bunnies and being able to get them out by myself, I'm feeling more comfortable with taking care of them.  I don't want their animals to be cooped up in a cage for two weeks, so being able to get them out and back in without any huge obstacles is comforting!!!  And while Ashes likes to cuddle, Emily is active and fun to play with.  She is slowly growing on me!  :)  As for the birds, I'm learning.  They are seeming easier to handle than what I first imagined.  Ruby, the African Grey, doesn't really care for me, but I'm learning tricks for how to deal with her. I learned how to feed Freckles, the cockatiel, last night.  He isn't too bad, and while he enjoys flying, he was hurt last week in a flying adventure so in recovering for that, he is not flying much.  His wings were clipped.  So, while he may not like me very much, at least I don't have to chase him around too much! Haha.  The dogs, Bailey and Clyde, are easy to take care of.  They like their food wet, which is gross, but whatever?!  Lol.  They are the most laid back, well-behaved dogs I have EVER encountered!!!  They listen to me better than my own dog, Jax, listens to me!!!  So, needless to say, I'm learning how to take care of their most precious family additions.  

I'm much better today than I was yesterday.  I really don't like this new med that I started last week.  It makes me extremely tired and groggy.  I sleep 10+ hours a night, which I really can't afford to get into the habit of.  No issue of insomnia there!!!  My body hurts still, but what's new?!  I am doing better in the long run, but I still seem to be in more pain than I should be in.  After a talk with my best friend last night, I think it would probably be best to try a different course in meds or something!  The physical therapy is helping, but outside of the sessions, I'm not doing the greatest at keeping up with it.  The exercises are not as simple as they seem and I fear I am doing them wrong when I do them.  BUT, it is nice to walk out of a PT session with pain levels as low as 1!  Hopefully, my rheumatologist can figure out why my rheumatoid factor is high and why I still have tons of joint pain even though I'm on a medicine used to treat rheumatoid arthritis.  I should see some sort of difference two months into the med, right???  Anyway, I think as my life gets put back in order and I catch up on my finances, the lowered stress will be able to lower my pain levels a bit too.  Perhaps not to a zero, but at least some.  

Okay, I'm getting bored of talking about my health, so on to something else?!

Oh, I was able to visit some family from England yesterday.  That was fun!  Exhausting, but good!  I am still struggling to figure out some things regarding my more immediate family, but that's not for the blogging world to see.  Sorry!  But, prayers are appreciated as I discern what to do and how to go about doing it!  Thanks!

Anything else you want to know, you can always comment or email me!  Beyond that, I'm done.  

Answers

So, I have been trying to get my medical life in order.  Honestly, it is giving me a headache.  I've seen two rheumatologists and I will be seeing another pain clinic at the beginning of June. 

As for the appointment for today.  My doctor doesn't really seem to believe in fibromyalgia, which makes me nervous.  Either way, he put me on a few meds.  Increased my lyrica.  Put me on an oral steroid.  And gave me a muscle relaxer.  The muscle relaxer is AMAZING!!!  It gives me a pressure headache, but it relieves most of the rest of my pain.  It isn't taking care of the abdominal pain, but it is fine.  Also, this morning, I had an abdominal ultrasound.  I haven't gotten the results yet...but, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be diagnosed with having a peptic ulcer.  The zantac that I took earlier helped some, but not enough.  I'm looking forward to my doctor's appt tomorrow afternoon to fix this abdominal pain. 

I do hope that I can sleep tonight.  I took a rather long 1.5-2hr nap earlier, but I'm still tired.  All this pain I've had is kickin' me!  But, who knows?!  Right now, I'm watching Doctor Who per a suggestion by Christine.  I may turn on Stargate SG-1 though so that I can get to sleep easily. 

I still have the appt with the pain clinic at the beginning of June.  I'm sincerely looking forward to it.  But, I'm annoyed with dealing with all these doctors.  It's hard on the finances and the body to go through all the stress.  SO...I don't know.  I think the pain clinic will be able to help me better than all these individual doctors as they can take care of the headaches, depression, fibro, and arthritic pain all in one place!  I'm excited!!!!!!!! 

Anyhow, I'm finally getting answers.  I'm finally getting treatment that is seeming to help.  I'm finally to the point where the questions are still coming, but there is hope for answers.  (Though, I still wanna know if I have RA.)  There is hope that I'll actually be in good health to go to Africa by the time I'm 23yo! :)

Heading to bed now, in pretty decent spirits.  May do a bit of reading too.  Got some extra books to read, like Judith and 1 & 2 Maccabees.  :)  Gotta love the Catholic Bible!  Just a bit longer than the Protestant Bible.  Happy Wednesday!

LONG-O DAY!

SOOO exciting!  I am hoping to make it home at a decent time today.  I have so many things to do today, it's crazy!  Not to mention the LONG drive home.  I'm also bringing a friend home, so hopefully she can keep me awake.  Running on LOW sleep today.  NOT fun.  But, oh well.  Anyhow, you really don't get much more of a post today.  I'm getting both excited and nervous for my audition tomorrow.  It's really interesting to be auditioning again.  I just haven't done so in a LONG time.  SO...Hopefully that goes well.  Alright...I gotta go!  I'll post more when I can! 

The Impossible

Looks like I've waited too long to try to get to sleep.  I still have a lot to do, but because I shower in the mornings, I have to wait to pack quite a bit of my stuff.  SO, it will be an EXTRA early morning.  Most likely, I'll have to be awake and moving by 5:30am at the latest.  However, It seems like an insomnia night.  Great.  Not exactly what I need on a night that is already aging and continues to bring morning more and more quickly!  :-/  I am in hopes that I get to sleep soon.  But, I feel like that may not be the case.  I hurt so badly and I just want to be out of pain.  I lose hope on bad days.  I forget how much energy it takes to wear that mask so that people see you as a human being than as a sick, weak "thing."  I want to feel like I used to.  I want to be able to dance around my room like a crazy teenager and use my hair brush as a microphone!  (Not like I've ever done that before, but it sounds like fun!)  I want to be able to run and play with my lil' sibs.  I want to be able to do the things that I never did but could have.  Sure, I can't go back in time, but I sure would like to live the time I have here on earth like someone normal, rather than whatever "this" life is.  Sucky.  Painful.  Stupid.  Yes, all those words would fit nicely.  I just wish I could cure chronic pain.  I wish the word chronic meant a few hours tops!  And even still, that's highly unlikely.  I wish I didn't have to see women suffer from things like endometriosis and eventually make the decision to get a hysterectomy to try to get out of the pain.  I wish I didn't have to see people who can't get out of the hole, the never ending downward spiral.  I wish I didn't have to see such a thing as pain!  Now that I'm in constant pain, it makes me ever more aware to those who have been dealing with it far longer than I have.  It makes me sad to think that so many people deal with things like this.  I just wish they didn't.  I just wish that we didn't have to deal with the pain and the people who don't understand.  Yeah, at one point in time, I had no idea what chronic pain meant.  I could read all I want about it, and I still said things that I shouldn't have said.  However, now...it hurts in more ways than one.  Ha.  Anyhow, I'll stop my sad story.  But I won't stop wishing for the impossible.  Because it seems impossible that I would have such great sibs and a Grandma who loves me and encourages me no matter what.  And it seemed impossible that my parents would ever get a divorce and that we would live through it.  And here we are.  And it seemed impossible that I would ever get an older sister, but I gotta admit, I got the best one out there...who loves me for me, knows me inside and out, and is the big sister I always wanted!  So, I'll never stop wishing for the impossible.  You never know what you might get!