Hi Everyone!
So, I just wanted to give an update about everything that's going on in my life right now. This will probably end up being a ramble about head covering and divorce. Haha...
SO...It's been more than 45 days of head covering! I counted that this is day 46 of head covering. I still can't believe that it's been that long. THOUGH, some days, it seems like I've been covering all my life. I wonder how many times I will get asked the same questions over and over again! Why do you cover? But you're a Christian! Do you take everything in the Bible literally? Why would you cover such beautiful hair? Etc. Can't people be more creative in constructing their questions?! Granted, I did get one question a few weeks ago that I was really impressed by! It was regarding the pastoral ministry and covering my head. If I remember, I'll post it following this one!
Other than the bad questions, I have been feeling a nudge from God to try wearing my scarf "hijab" style, which seems to be accepted as the "Muslim look." I am still not sure on this one. I think the style is EXTREMELY comfortable. It doesn't push back my ears quite as tight as the bun style. I wrapped my head as such earlier today (and I have it as such again), but I couldn't bring myself to going out with it on. I don't think it really matters how I cover my head, as much as that I DO cover my head (in accordance with what God's will is for my life). I also think 
that I am afraid of rejection. I want people to like me. So, it's getting harder and harder to branch out and be different because the differences seem to be creating a separation between me and the world. God did say that we are to be "in" the world, but not "of" the world, so it really shouldn't be a problem. BUT, there is still that idea that people will not support me if I begin "to look like a Muslim." EVEN WORSE...I'm most afraid to wear it like a hijab around "church people." Sometime, I'll explain it...But long story short is that outsiders (non-Christians) are more OPEN-MINDED than some Christians are. Sad story, right?! Gotta love one denomination's view of their church...Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors. LOVE IT! :)
Anyhow, other than head covering...My parents divorce is either finalized or dismissed on Thursday (not tomorrow...Sept 30). SO, prayers that it all goes well and it is finalized with a "fair" settlement. Hopefully, my sibs and I will all adjust quickly and smoothly!
Another prayer request for my cousin Melissa who had surgery today and is having a few complications with the recovery process (high blood pressure). Surgery went well though, so a praise there!
Alright...I think that's enough for now! Oh, and here's a shout out to my Besties Julie and Nichole! You ladies are awesome and you truly keep me going when things get rough. Thanks for always being there for me! AND...For loving me MORE!
I'm out! Thanks for reading!
So, I thought I would write to make sure everyone is up to speed about what's going on in my life right now...
I am still covering. It has been going pretty well. Yesterday, my church family saw me with my head cover on for the second week in a row. (I went home to preach last weekend, and I wore it.) I think most people just assumed that it was a fashion statement the first time, but it really shocked some people to see me with it on again! I had one woman come up to me in tears because she didn't understand why I was covering "such beautiful hair." Honestly, my heart broke, yet I was reminded of why I wear my head cover. It isn't because of vanity. I don't wear it for modesty...I wear it because of the Scripture and what God has specifically asked me to do in regards to that Scripture. It's been 37 days that I have worn my head covering full time (meaning while I am awake). During this time, I have been reminded constantly to pray (especially when people are so distraught with my decision that they stare for long, awkward amounts of time). I have learned not to make my covering another meaningless habit. I think a major part of it is making sure that I remind myself why I cover every morning when I get up. If I don't have my devotional time in the morning where I connect on a deep level with God and remind myself why I cover, the day goes much rougher than it should go! Looking forward to learning more about myself, others, and ultimately God through my head covering...
This past week was EXTREMELY hard on me. I really fell into a depressed mood with no motivation or passion for anything in this life, or for life itself. It caused a lot of heartache on me, and the persons pulling me through the storm! I REALLY appreciate my besties! :) It didn't help that I did a lot of questioning about what I believe and who God really is...And my favorite, HOW DOES THE TRINITY MAKE SENSE?!?! At one point in time, I was so frustrated with the fact that, sometimes, God is incomprehensible that I stopped looking to God for help to get me through everything. (Not a wise choice.) However, because a friend was struggling with many of the same issues, we were able to talk about life and our beliefs. Some of it, we were able to work out...but I think our main conclusion is Job 42...Sometimes, we don't always know what God is up to...BUT, we have to trust that He knows what's best and have a lil' faith (even as small amount as a mustard seed) to pull us through. And thus, the healing began...
The healing is still happening. The aches are still wearing off from this past week...but God is healing them through asking me to dig into His Word and stay on my knees in a regular prayer time. Through fellowship with other Christians and worship, I am able to stay connected, which is SOOO important!
Anyhow, I told myself not to make this too long...so if you've actually made it to here...THANKS for reading! :) So, that's all for now!
Loving God, Loving People...That's what it's all about! Realize there will be heartache and healing along the way...But God never leaves your side!
that I am afraid of rejection. I want people to like me. So, it's getting harder and harder to branch out and be different because the differences seem to be creating a separation between me and the world. God did say that we are to be "in" the world, but not "of" the world, so it really shouldn't be a problem. BUT, there is still that idea that people will not support me if I begin "to look like a Muslim." EVEN WORSE...I'm most afraid to wear it like a hijab around "church people." Sometime, I'll explain it...But long story short is that outsiders (non-Christians) are more OPEN-MINDED than some Christians are. Sad story, right?! Gotta love one denomination's view of their church...Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors. LOVE IT! :)