Changes: Resetting My Inner Clock?

I've never been real big on change. Actually, I found a TRUE hatred for change my junior year of high school when changing band directors for the third time. I really would rather not face it...but, here's the thing: I can't become anyone different than what I am without it. SO...I'm stuck with its reality! Because of all these areas in my life that need change, I'm starting slow and making my way there...Here's some of the changes and a "proposed" change that I will hopefully decide on tonight:

First off...I went running yesterday. Mostly because I was mad/frustrated, however I ran. I certainly got my exercise in for the day, and I am currently regretting it, as I am sore. I didn't do any sort of exercise today, so shame on me...other than walking to my car/classes. (The shuttle system may have lost a passenger...except when it's icy!) So, progress is being made.

My eating habits have been horrible, primarily because I don't have any "healthy" foods available. I'm working on a new shopping list for the next trip to the grocery store. :)

Lastly...(for tonight)...Jesus and I have been doing better with our devotional times. I have cut back some on the things that I do, and I am learning to focus on Him rather than all the stuff I do for the church. (And about 12 people in the world are saying "Told ya so!" right now!) I am joining the English Society at my university. (Which, I'm pretty excited about!) i really feel like I can make a contribution to the group, and I want to be able to find that place (or group of people) that I can have as friends outside the church...Though, i do hope to share Jesus with them if they don't already know the AMAZING news! :)

Okay...Got side-tracked...Jesus. Okay. Yes. Monday and Tuesday, I did really well getting up, and He got at least 45 minutes each morning. Today, I had an ultimate fail, and so He got about 5 minutes this morning. (Bad...I know.) Tomorrow...(This is actually needing to be decided)...I will DEFINITELY be getting up. At this point in time, it is a matter of how early will I be getting up. My friend (whom I used to do my devotion time with every evening) decided to start doing her devotional time in the morning, and thus we stopped doing them in the evenings. This caused us to stop doing them all together, because she has to do them at FOUR in the morning now!!! RIDONKULOUS!!! Anyhow, we both miss doing devotion time together...And while she is going to keep her time alone in the mornings, I think it might be time for me to live out the aspiring 4am wake up call that I've known about for quite some time. (Yup, Holy Spirit's been workin' on me for a few years now...Lol.)

Honestly, I love being up early in the mornings. HOWEVER, I am not one who is used to it anymore. My college life schedule doesn't comprehend 4am. So, I'm really trying to figure it all out. I might do a test run for tomorrow morning...though I don't think I know how to go to bed at 9:30pm and get up at 4am?! Crazy action! Oh well...I'm really excited about it. I think I could make it work, if i started getting up at 4am and doing devotion, getting ready for the day, homework (what most kids do late at night), and head to classes! Of course, I would HAVE to go to bed at a decent time...But, that is the least of my worries. Resetting my inner clock? Now, that's a challenge!

Okay...That's all for now! Night!

Radically Testifying to Grace???

Acts 20:24 (NIV) – “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

Just before this verse, the Apostle Paul makes the statement that he is going to Jerusalem, and because the Holy Spirit has warned him, he recognizes that prison and other hardships are waiting for him. I’m not going to lie here…If I knew something bad was going to happen to me in a place, I would DEFINITELY avoid that place!!! I would be the modern-day Jonah. The person who would hide away from God as long as I possibly could until God had a big fish swallow me and practically force me to realize that I needed to do His will! Yep, that’s me! However, the Apostle Paul has come to realize that His will is all that matters!

God has given the Apostle Paul the task of “testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” What might this mean? Well, it’s pretty much telling the story of how God can give us something we can’t achieve by ourselves.

This weekend, my church taught on grace. After one of the services, I had someone come up to me and ask, “So, what’s grace?” This person was completely serious, and I honestly couldn’t explain to this person what it was. In Acts, Paul emphasizes that he isn’t called to “define” grace, but to witness, or testify, to “experiencing” grace.

Now, I realize that we don’t sit around and debate theological topics, like many of the cities that the Apostle Paul visited. Nevertheless, we MUST be the people to break through the social norms to get the Gospel of Jesus out into the world…The Gospel of Grace…How God has saved us from death and damnation when we couldn’t save ourselves. Jesus never said, “Go to the ends of the world…until a few generations pass, or until you get tired of being real disciples of mine.” Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a RADICAL idea?! It is one of the most basic parts of being a Christian.

Though I struggle with the thought of facing hardships down the line, the Gospel must be testified in all of our cities. People die (probably) daily in other countries for their beliefs in Jesus Christ, not because they hide them away and hope that someone else will take care of telling the world, but because they are a true witness to the Grace of God. Do you hide away your beliefs? Do you live ‘em out? Would you be willing to face hardship if God asked you to merely walk across the room to witness to someone who might reject you? The Apostle Paul realized that this mission meant more than life. What about you?! What do you live for?

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Day 70 - Watching Life Go By...

So today, I came to a realization that I didn't want to face. Watching my life go by seems to be a hobby of mine. I live my life seemingly like it's some reality TV show.

I seem to be such a fake in so many areas of my life. I tell myself that I'm doing it all right, and I'm NOT. I tell myself that I give of myself plenty, and yet I hardly give at all, and certainly not to the right things. I tell myself that I eat healthy, yet I do not. (Especially with eating that huge brownie earlier that I had for what I called breakfast.) I tell myself that I will get around to exercising and that I'll really do better at it, yet I had nothing to do all weekend and NO physical exertion has been done! I even tell myself that I'll get up in the mornings and do a devotional time with Jesus...Yet, I constantly hit snooze with no real intention of actually getting up...EVEN when I've had more than my fair share of hours of sleep! I seem to have convinced myself that I'm someone that I'm not.

Something has to change. Something has to give. I can't go on living like this. It's like I am watching my life go by, yet not enjoying it. God only will give me one life to live on this earth. It's about time that I live it to the fullest. This means everything from getting healthy physically to getting healthy spiritually. I am still not sure where to start. But, I can't go another day feeling like this. Like I'm trapped and unable to go on. I can't feel like I'm ugly any longer, when I can change my routine to change that appearance.

I'm not happy with the way I am right now. I'm not the person I want anyone to look up to and say "That's who I want to be like." So, I'm done watching life go by. I'm ready to make changes. Who knows where I'll start?! But, there MUST be some sort of transformation. Here it goes?!

Okay...Now that the ugly part of this post is out of the way... :/ Onto something else!

Today was day 70 of head covering. This is definitely something that I still feel called to do. Even though I've been sick with migraines lately, I still cannot pray unless I have my head covering on...Praying seems to be something I do a lot when I have migraines...what else are ya gonna do when you just gotta lay in bed with all the lights off?! Lol. So, other than that...it seems to be going alright. I've faced quite a few obstacles over the course of it all, but as long as I remind myself how convinced I am of the truth of Scripture and my call, I (with help from God) can pull myself through whatever obstacle Satan sticks in the way! So that's it on that one!

Ummm...There seems to be a bit of a struggle in my friendship life. I'm not going to go into it on here too much, but I'm going to request prayers for this aspect...I talk to my best friends more than I talk to God. If Jesus is my True Best Friend, then why aren't I devoting Him at least the time i devote to my other best friends here on earth who mean the world to me?! Should God mean the world to me MORE than anything else?! Exactly. So, I'm struggling with that...as well as a bit of something that came up this week. So, thanks for the prayers.

I'll try and keep the blog world updated on how this all goes with all the changes, etc. That's all for now.

Day 65 of Obedience!!!

YAY!!! Day 65 of covering my head in obedience with the 1 Corinthians 11 Scripture!!! As each milestone is reached, I find it interesting to go back and linger in the thoughts of the days of "pre-covering." Sometimes, I find it incredibly encouraging. Other days, it gets me in trouble. I think today is one of those other days...

Earlier, I began thinking about how I first began covering. I remembered how the thoughts of covering seemed to CONSUME my life. I couldn't think of anything else. It was ALWAYS on my mind. I found some relief once I actually started covering, but honestly, the pressure from the world around me seemed to keep covering on the forefront of my mind. I was constantly wondering if this was really God's will for me. Even 65 days later, I still have MANY people ask me why I cover and they ask me why God would want me to cover "such beautiful hair." Some days, it's harder to answer that than others.

After reminiscing about the beginnings, I began to wonder if God would ever call me to take off my cover. I seem to get a lot of "That's really cool. So when are you going to stop covering?" Or "How will you know when God asks you to stop?" And my question to God is..."Will I ever be asked to stop covering?" And if so, "How will I know when, how, and why to stop covering?"

My issue with all this is...If I believe it's Scriptural, will I ever be able to stop? Will I ever be able to say, Sure, I believed it was Scriptural and something we should take literally, but now, it's not right for me. Or God doesn't want this for me right now?!?!

While I'd love to "show off" (I know, vanity) my hair again one day, I don't think that's gonna happen without discounting the Scripture, people who already choose to cover, or myself. None of which sound appealing.

So, maybe taking myself back to that first day wasn't a bad thing, just thought-provoking.

Oh, and I'm almost proud enough to say that headcovering doesn't consume my thoughts constantly, but it is an excellent reminder to pray often (which I seem to be struggling with this idea anyway). Haha.

That's all for now!!!

Sermon - Cling to Your Work

This is a sermon that I gave (with God's help) at the Christian church on September 5, 2010. The manuscript is as follows. Whether this is actually what I said is debatable! :)

CLING TO YOUR WORK ~

Good morning! My name is Samantha for those of you who don’t know me. I am currently a student getting a degree in communications after graduating from High School. And, it is an honor to come back and share with you this morning on this glorious Labor Day weekend. Speaking of which, did you know that the first labor day was 128 years ago as of TODAY?! The first one was started by a company in New York. The initial name of it was “Working Men’s Holiday.” (Yeah, back then, not many women worked outside the home.) I absolutely loved that it was called a holiday. But, since it was to honor all of those working people, I thought we would talk a little bit about work today. Now, for those of you who are unemployed, I think you begin to feel like you are employed by God by the end! So, we are going to Mark 12:28-34.

READ Mark 12:28-34.

The first time I read this passage, I was amazed! I have to do what?! In simpler terms, I have to love God with everything I have, and love people as I love myself. Actually, this passage is simplifying our lives as Christians by quite a bit. The OT contains all the rules and regulations (like for sacrifices) that the Jews followed closely. In fact, some Orthodox Jews still follow many of these rules and regulations…But, at that time, some of the leaders were getting so caught up in the rules. They even created rules about following the rules! The scribe who asked this question already knew the answer…and Jesus answered it correctly. “Yes, the sacrifices are important, but it’s more about love. It’s about loving God and loving people with all that we are.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but that last part (the loving people part) gives me a sense of WORK. It doesn’t sound easy…I love my big red dictionary…Webster defines work as physical or mental effort exerted to do or make something; purposeful activity; labor; toil...Again, toil? Effort?

When was the last time you played with a child? Last night, I went over to a friend’s place. Her niece played with me the ENTIRE time I was there. She is three years old, and certainly has the energy of being three! We went on a walk and played an interesting game of soccer where she sat at the top of a slide and rolled the ball down the slide, and then I would ROLL the ball BACK UP the slide. Talk about work…plus, I had a tree that I kept hitting my head on….Sometimes, I didn’t get the ball to roll all the way back up the slide…I am obviously not skilled with rolling the ball back up the slide. Without the skills to do a job, it makes the job VERY difficult.

The amazing thing is that God gives us each a gift…a skill, or passion. Something to cling to in order to love Him and others more fully. We aren’t going to go there as a congregations, but Romans 12:4-8 lists about seven that you could have, but there are so many! Think about it, what are you passionate about? What do you attach yourself to? Where do you put your time and energy?

I live off-campus now, and as I moved in, I started to find random things that I needed that I never noticed its magical appearance at home. One of those things is cling wrap. Yes, I actually brought my cheap version. We all know how cling wrap works. Usually, you take it off the roll in order to cover something…usually a dish. (Or, if you are like my friend, you wrap the new bride and groom’s car…) Either way, I feel like people are sometimes like cling wrap. Let’s see, there are the people that stick to themselves…they don’t really reach out. Sometimes, they are perceived as being selfish and this can cause loneliness. Usually, when cling wrap starts sticking to itself, it becomes a big ball and gets thrown in the trash. And then there is the cling wrap that sticks to everything except for what it’s supposed to stick to. It sticks to the counter, or the other dish, or your arm. I think we as people can do this too. We turn to possessions, or money, or the strive for success…good grades…business in everything except for what God wants for us. So, the question in regards to humans as cling wrap is…do we effectively cling to the right thing? What exactly are we supposed to cling to?

The mission. Hold on tight to the mission with whatever skills God has given us. At the end of December, the numbers were tallied by a research group called the George Barna Group. They had taken a snapshot of America of where we are at spiritually. I’m not sharing the entire snapshot with you today, but here are the numbers…11% of people have no idea what sin is. Sin being missing the mark…anything that separates us from God is a sin. So, one in ten people you run into have no idea what sin is. Here’s the number that really freaks me out, 39% of people have some concern of sin but they don’t know what to do with it. They know there is something more to life than making money and watching TV…but they don’t know what it is. They don’t know Jesus…FOUR out of 10 people you see as you walk down the street or go to the grocery store know that there is something wrong with their lives but don’t know how to fix it. Furthermore, there are the people who are stuck in the church involvement circle…about 26%. They get up on Sundays, and they come to church, but certainly don’t take it out into their everyday lives. They are going through the motions, and can sometimes be stuck just as much as those who have never stepped in a church. There is less than 1% of people that this group can classify as people who truly love God and love others…We are meant to be different than the world. People…that is our mission. There are people who need to know Jesus. They need to know of His love and majesty. They need to know that there is something more to live for than sex, drugs, and money. They need to know of the break that comes…

Jesus gave us the job in the Great Commission to go to the ends of the world to…(repeat Matthew 28 in "slang")

Just so you know, there is no cheap person, unlike my cheap saran wrap…Each one of us is valuable for Christ to have died on that cross just for you. SO…Cling to the mission, and work at it with all that you are and use those special skills that God has given you to further His kingdom here on earth!

Transformed

This is for the Pray. Study. Grow. Devotional Material that comes out every week at Schweitzer UMC. So, here's the devotion that I submitted in the midst of the NT 90 series.

Acts 9-11

Reread Acts 9:19b-22. I distinctly remember what my mother said to me the first time I came home from college: “What happened to you?!” I had changed drastically in that first month of college that my personality was hard to recognize as the child she had always known. Now, I made my own decisions and lived “in the real world.” Just as that transformation happened when I left for college, a transformation happened when I became a Christian. My values shifted, my decisions were altered, and I received the gift of the Holy Spirit. I am positive that people from school and community events asked themselves…“What happened to her?!” There was evidence of a transformation.

In today’s reading, Saul puzzled the Jews by “proving that Jesus was the Messiah” (Acts 9:22). Saul used to be one who persecuted Jesus’ followers. He even approved of the stoning of Stephen in chapter seven! Obviously, there was a HUGE transformation that happened in Saul’s life because of Jesus.

We, too, have that transformation happen within our lives as we continue with Jesus. People should begin to ask, “What happened to him/her?” Our values should look different than what the world values. Our time should be spent in different ways than how the world spends their time. But we should not forget about the world, for they are the ones we must tell about the change within us!

How have you been transformed by having the love of Jesus in your life?

Existence Downtown!

Today, I experienced my first Art Walk. Yes, I went downtown. I haven’t been downtown in FOREVER! (Not even joking!) Well, let’s just say it was really interesting. No, not the art! Haha. I’ll tell ya a bit about my night…

First off, the group that I seemed to have traveled with most of the night was BIG! At one point in time, we were keeping track of 12 people! That’s crazy hard downtown on a Friday Night Art Walk! Most of the people, I could barely remember their names. I knew my roommate and one of her friends from home. The rest, I met as we walked along finding them, or attempting to find them!

I met a Chinese student, who quickly grew on me. We kept running into each other, so at one point in time, we just locked arms together. It kept us from running into each other, so it was definitely effective. Yes, it generally isn’t accepted in our culture, but it’s something that the people do in China. I like it! Haha. It seems to remind me of best friends holding hands. A sense of unity is built. A sense of community is found. She was definitely thrilled to be downtown, and was EXCITED for all of the culture she had been thrown into tonight.

Speaking of culture…I would definitely say that my favorite part was the woman hula-hooping with a lighted hula-hoop that was on FIRE! :) It was pretty amazing. I love art. But, I didn’t seem to be interested in looking at much of it tonight! I was intrigued by the conversations (whether in English or Chinese or Spanish) going on around me.

I LOVE the downtown feel. I may not feel like I fit in, but I certainly loved the freedom that people have found on the streets. Whether it is body art, playing with fire, ceramics, or painting, I love seeing each unique person for who they are. Downtown definitely seems to be the place that you can be “you.”

There’s a couple more things that I want to touch on about tonight, but they are definitely interrelated, so I’m just gonna see where this leads me……

The “Sign People” were there tonight. These people call themselves Christians, though I don’t know what “branch” or denomination they are from. They had long beards, and dressed VERY modestly. In fact, they dressed as such that women were REQUIRED to cover their heads (as well as nearly every other part of their body). Now, I am generally okay with people being radical, but they held signs that said “The party ends in Hell.” “Fortification is a sin.” “Women should be meek, quiet, and covered.” “Women should be seen and not heard.” Etc. I find it frustrating to witness when the people downtown see this example of Christianity and this group of people’s perception of it. I’m not saying that I agree or disagree with these sign people, but what they are doing is not effective. In fact, it seemed to have been so ineffective that there appeared a “Battle of the Signs” because a group created signs with “Why such sad and serious faces?” written on them, and ACTUAL Scripture written on them. I don’t know how much good they did though.

I, of course, had my head covered. I couldn’t help but shake my head at these “Sign People.” I wanted to talk to them. I wanted to know why they felt that way. I wanted to know why they chose to “witness” in that way. I wanted to know if they thought that they were doing what God wants. And most of all, I wanted to talk to them about why I cover, and why they didn’t allow women to have a voice. I don’t know…Being with a group, I couldn’t leave to debate with these people, though I’m still curious if they would have listened to me because I am a woman!?

Like I just said, I had my head covered. It was my first time downtown with my cover on my head. At first, it was VERY awkward. I constantly felt judged. I may have had my cross around my neck, but that doesn’t seem to matter to people who are already drinking! I did not feel like I fit in with being downtown. At one point in time, I wanted to take it off because the hurtful glances and stares were frustrating me. After a quick prayer, the glances got fewer and farther apart. I still wonder every day when or if God will ever call me to take off my cover. I wonder how He will do it, when He will, why He will, etc. I don’t know. Maybe He’ll never ask. Guess I won’t know the above things until He actually asks! Haha…

Anyhow, I’m out…(Who knows when this will actually be posted since my internet only works half of the time!? Hopefully soon!)